Meeting the Needs of Birth Moms Facing Crisis

  A crisis is defined as a time of intense difficulty or trouble, or a time when a difficult or important decision must be made. With expectant parents facing a difficult or important decision, we can see that many, if not all of our birthmoms can experience a time of crisis. A large portion of […]

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It's 2020: Why Are We Still Afraid of Adoption Telling?

  This blog was originally published on LavenderLuz.com. How do I tell my child he’s adopted? And when? Rant: I’m frustrated that these questions still come up (and surprised because my readers are adoption-savvy, so I start thinking everyone is). Who is preparing adoptive parents for adoption telling? And who should be preparing them? What can […]

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Anonymous Embryo Donation Doesn't Work

In the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program, anonymous or closed placements are not available, and the reason is simple—it's no longer feasible. The prevalence of at-home DNA testing kits and the accessibility of information on the internet make it easy for individuals to discover if they are donor-conceived and even identify their donor. The Donor Sibling […]

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Keeping Your Marriage a Priority During Your Adoption Journey

  Embarking on the adoption journey can be challenging, particularly for a marriage. The extensive paperwork, the anticipation of a match, and the anxiety surrounding potential obstacles can strain your relationship at a time when mutual support is crucial. However, taking proactive steps and being transparent with each other allows you to navigate the adoption […]

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The Money Grab

      As an adoption professional working in private adoption, I am often confronted with what I call “The Money Grab” accusation.  Often, well-meaning people make grand sweeping statements about the cost of adoption, such as: “If you are a Christian organization, then why don’t you do this for free?” “Why does private adoption […]

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Tackling the Holidays as a Birth Parent

            While the holidays can be filled with fun times spent with family and friends, they can also be a very difficult time for birthparents, especially if you placed your child for adoption around the holidays. In these seasons, it can be hard to find healthy ways to cope with […]

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How Can I Love My Child's Birth Mother Through Her Grief?

  “I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now.” “What a hard decision you are making.” “Thank you for trusting us with your baby.” “You are so brave.” “I admire your strength.”   These are all statements that one might hear being said to a birth mother in the hospital or at placement. How many […]

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Learning the Attachment "Dance"

    Attachment is the secure bond that is created initially between an infant and their caregiver. This attachment process will begin in utero with a child’s birthmother and then be formed again with other caregivers, specifically their adoptive parents. Children have the capacity to form several attachment relationships, the important thing is those are […]

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Understanding Birthmother Grief

In my career as a licensed clinical social worker, I have been honored to counsel women walking through the process of grief after placing a baby for adoption.  One such woman, Mary (name and information used with permission) captured her journey in a heartfelt essay entitled “The Beautiful Side of Grief,” which she wrote shortly […]

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How to Be An Adoption Advocate

  Have you ever thought “I want to advocate for adoption but how can I do that if I am not called to actually adopt?” or “Am I really helping advocate for adoption if I am not adopting?” It is completely valid, acceptable and feasible to help advocate for adoption without adopting yourself and yes […]

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