In the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program, there are no anonymous or closed placements available. Why? Simply put, it is just not possible anymore. Thanks to the at home DNA testing kits, and the internet, individuals can easily find out if they are donor-conceived and even who their donor is.
The Donor Sibling Registry is an online resource for donor-conceived people trying to locate half or full siblings and for donors trying to locate potential offspring. The results of some searches are disturbing, such as the sperm donor who fathered over 130 children! Medical science created the need for registries such as the DSR when assisted reproductive technologies became normative.
In 2018 the DSR presented a study of 485 adult donor-conceived people and their desires to find their egg, sperm, or embryo donor. The study sought to understand the search methods used and if they were successful, what became of the potential relationship between child and donor.
Many people who are interested in donating their embryos to another family have not yet told their children how they were conceived. This adds to the difficulty of making the decision to donate their embryos and often hinders their ability to choose open communications with the adopting family. What will happen if their children discover the secret of their conception? Decisions are made based upon fear rather than what is in the best interests of the children who are born from the set of embryos.
The good news is that 85% of the survey participants were told about their conceptions by their parents. The remaining 15% searched for their information themselves or were told by someone else.
The participants used one or more methods for trying to locate/find their donor:
- 6% used a record search
- 1% used DNA testing
- 2% contacted the fertility clinic/doctor/sperm bank
- 6% used the Donor Sibling Registry
- 6% hired a genealogist
- 9% used other means of searching
When working with the Snowflakes program you are asked to accept using the best practices of adoption. Most of those best practices are in place to do what is in the best interests of the children – children born to the donor, children born to the adopter.
Several of those best practices include:
- Encouraging open communications between the placing and the adopting families. The two families, not Snowflakes, mutually agree upon the level and frequency of the communication.
- Respecting privacy and not supporting secrecy.
- Completing a family evaluation.
- Permanent records storage by the agency.
There are many ways for your children to discover the truth about their conception. Why not have the source of that truth be you, the people who love them the most?
Learn more about embryo donation through the Snowflakes program, visit Snowflakes.org.
written by Kimberly Tyson