In certain circles of American culture, there persists a misguided notion that fatherhood is somehow incompatible with masculinity. Activities like changing diapers or using a Baby Bjorn are deemed beneath men, sometimes even considered emasculating. Unfortunately, adopting a baby often falls into the category of unacceptable activities for men, and I, too, held such beliefs—until my world was transformed by embryo adoption.
As Father's Day approaches, you may find yourself pondering the essence of being a man. Perhaps you and your spouse are confronting the formidable challenge of infertility, and she is urging you to explore embryo adoption as a means to build your family, despite your initial reluctance.
Allow me to provide some reassurance. Embryo adoption will indeed redefine your concept of manhood, but it will be a positive transformation. Whether you aspire to become a father for the first time or add another child to your family, here are three compelling reasons to seriously consider fatherhood through embryo adoption.
- The most fragile among us deserve the best of your strength. You might not be a bodybuilder or a professional wrestler, and that's perfectly fine. Strength manifests in various forms, especially within families where good fathers truly shine. This strength is crucial when offering frozen embryos the best chance at life. Hundreds of couples who have used in vitro fertilization (IVF) are seeking families to give their remaining embryos a chance at life. An embryo, though just a few days old, represents a baby with hopes, dreams, and a future. Imagining that tiny life as part of your family opens up possibilities and a higher purpose you can achieve together.
- Now more than ever, the world needs fathers to contribute their unique gifts to children. According to authors Warren Farrell and John Gray in their 2018 book "The Boy Crisis," boys who grow up to be men and fathers are among society's most undervalued resources. The time a father spends with a child is a significant predictor of the child's ability to empathize as they grow older. As a dad, you play a vital role in teaching your children how to treat others—with respect, love, and kindness. Embryo adoption allows you to make a difference not only in the lives of the adopted embryo baby and the placing family but also in your community and the world. Children become what they see modeled for them.
- Because fatherhood will immediately begin reshaping your life's priorities—for the better. You may occasionally feel a tug of guilt as a man, balancing work and personal life. Embryo adoption serves as a transformative moment that prompts you to reconsider your life's priorities. Caring for a little person demands your time, energy, and humility, yet it brings some of the most rewarding and inspiring moments of your life.
Embryo adoption isn't a path for everyone, but if a part of you yearns to be a dad, take that first step with your spouse. Learn, ask questions, and contemplate the opportunity to make a difference for the embryo babies and placing families seeking someone like you.
Nate Birt and his wife, Julie, are adoptive parents of Phoebe, a Nightlight® Christian Adoptions Snowflakes® baby. Nate blogs quarterly for Snowflakes® and is the author of “Frozen, But Not Forgotten: An Adoptive Dad’s Step-by-Step Guide to Embryo Adoption” from Carpenter’s Son Publishing. To subscribe to his email newsletter, visit www.frozenbutnotforgotten.com.