I couldn’t endure this parenting journey for very long if all I had were the Monday realities to look forward to. I thank God that for every Monday of transracial parenting there is an opposite and hope-filled Friday calling to me. Fridays are the promises fulfilled, the dreams unfolding and the needed rest from what can be the exhausting realities of adoptive families. This is my Friday list. The top ten quiet things that hold me centered when everyone else thinks what we doing is impossible. I know that these things are not limited to transracial adoption, but they are all part of the particular blessing God has given our family through the differences.
1. My family is beautiful. God put us together on purpose, for his glory and our joy and I can trust in Him alone to answer all of the hard questions. (Yes – I am biased as well as utterly dependent on Him!)
2. I experience a freedom in interracial relationships that would have taken years to develop if six of my kids were not Black. Conversations flow naturally with Black moms when they know I have a common journey. God opens many doors using our diversity as a family so that our earthly adoptions will point toward his eternal one.
3. People listen differently when God gives me something to say about minority needs and racial issues. They don’t automatically write me off as a product of white privilege and guilt, because I now live in two worlds.
4. As a family we are always walking the adoption journey - either through our own adoptions or alongside other couples who are taking this calling seriously. The topic is never left for long.
5.When people ask my kids if they want any more brothers or sisters they all shout YES! MORE! No matter how crabby I have been.
6. All my kids love each other passionately, and will take on any others who mess with them. (I’m looking forward to the day when young men start showing up with interest in my 4 beautiful daughters, only to find that there are at least 5 protective big brothers, as well as parents guarding these treasures.)
7. My kids voluntarily and passionately pray over all the children that God has prepared for the families on our adoption wall. They know that some of those kids have huge disabilities and they love them all the same. And sometimes my kids have the larger faith to pray healing and salvation over them when I am just asking for the smaller things like visas and finances.
8. As a family we weep huge prayers of joy and sorrow when God takes one of those tender and delicate adoptive children out of our world and back to him. My kids understand the value of life; whatever limitations the Lord places on an individual child’s body, they know that there is heavenly value there.
9. Because we live adoption my kids look for ways to bless and encourage those around the world that care for the orphans. Right now my 8 year old has $20 and he is trying to decide what to do with it. His first choices are to donate it towards Autism research or to buy supplies for the Crisis Pregnancy Center that God used to bring us together with his biological mother. This tender little Black boy is taking a pro-life stand that is stronger and more sacrificial than many adults, because he knows the blessing of adoption over abortion.
10. Last but not least ~ My family doesn’t have to learn about diversity, we live it!
These are ten of the things which have helped me keep my balance this week. Ten particular ways God has shown me the beauty of his creation through transracial families.