Adoption Assistance for Children with Special Needs Adopted Domestically

Any waiting family associated with Nightlight Christian Adoptions long enough, will inevitably receive an email from Nightlight requesting consideration of a domestically born child who, because of significant special medical needs, is considered harder to place. Baby Saylor diagnosed with schitzencephaly, Baby Michael diagnosed with Prader Willi syndrome, and Baby Tommy diagnosed with microcephaly are just a few of the babies who were spotlighted in these emails. These babies, all with serious lifelong special medical needs, received placement through Nightlight with loving adoptive families.

There is a lot to seriously consider before accepting placement of a child with special medical needs. Much more than this blog can cover. The following is information about Adoption Assistance, the medical coverage and financial assistance available to adoptive families accepting placement of a special needs child, and the process of applying for Adoption Assistance when adopting privately.

The Adoption Assistance and Child Welfare Act of 1980 provided the first federal subsidies to encourage the adoption of children who would otherwise remain in long-term foster care by removing the financial obstacles related to adopting a child with “special needs”. Benefits commonly include monthly cash payments, medical assistance, reimbursement of nonrecurring adoption expenses and post adoption support services. There is a common misconception that Adoption Assistance, also known as adoption subsidies, is only granted to children adopted from foster care. This is not true. Adoption subsidies are available to any child adopted domestically, whether through foster care or private domestic adoption, who meets the definition of “special needs”. In a nutshell, a “special need” can be thought of as any obstacle keeping a family from accepting the placement of a child. A significant, lifelong medical need is one type of these obstacles. The largest criteria of what identifies a child as being “special needs” is the same throughout the US, but there are some varying smaller criteria among states.

Adoption Assistance is provided through two levels. One is through the federal level (called Title IV-E) and the second is through the state or county level (called Non-Title IV-E). A child cannot qualify for both. The benefits can vary among states, especially the benefits provided on the state or county level. In private adoption, when a child has never been in foster care, Adoption Assistance, whether IV-E or non-IV-E, is overseen by the county or state public social services agency where the adoptive family resides, even when the child was born in another state. Waiting families can be proactive by researching the Adoption Assistance guidelines and services offered by their state. Here is a helpful website with additional state information: https://nacac.org/help/adoption-assistance/adoption-assistance-us/state-programs/

The Adoption Assistance determination process, for a child placed through private adoption, begins by applying for Supplemental Security Income (SSI) disability benefits for the child. The SSI disability application should be processed through the SSI office in the county where the adopting family resides. For more information on this application process please see: https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/disability/apply-child.html

If the child is approved for SSI disability benefits, he/she automatically qualifies for Adoption Assistance on the federal level (Title IV-E), and for Medicaid. Children approved for SSI disability benefits will begin receiving SSI benefits immediately and benefits will be retroactive to the date the application was submitted. Benefits include monthly cash aid and state medical coverage. This can feel like a win to adopting parents, but it is important that they continue and complete the Adoption Assistance application process, to receive Adoption Assistance. There are income guidelines for SSI benefits and once the adoption is finalized, the SSI benefits will be adjusted according to the adoptive family’s income. The adoptive family could experience a significant decrease in benefits.

If the child does not qualify for SSI disability benefits, they still may qualify for non-Title IV-E Adoption Assistance on the state or county level, and special medical coverage offered by the state.

The next step, for either SSI determination outcome, is to apply for Adoption Assistance through the public social services agency in the adopting parents’ state. Depending on the state, this may be at the county or state level. Most states or counties process very few adoption assistance applications for private adoptions and may not be familiar with the process. The National Council for Adoption website previously referenced has information about who can assist in your state.

Lastly it is important that adopting families not finalize the adoption until the Adoption Assistance has been approved. Once an adoption is finalized, it is nearly impossible to successfully obtain adoption assistance, especially on the federal level.

Like any government funded subsidy, there is never a guarantee it will last forever; however, in in my fifteen years as an adoption professional, Adoption Assistance on the federal level (Title IV-E) has only increased. The availability of Adoption Assistance should not be overlooked in private domestic adoption. The application and eligibility determination process may appear complicated, tedious, and lengthy, but the benefits are substantial. The benefits may provide all the financial difference in a waiting family’s ability to accept placement of a child with a special medical need.

Adopting a Child Internationally with Special Needs

The landscape of international adoption has changed throughout the years, with most countries focusing efforts to place children who are considered hard to place. A special needs adoption is defined as adopting a child with an additional need, a sibling group, or an older child. How it is defined can vary from country to country. Definitions and references to special needs can be vastly encompassing and wide ranging. Hard to place children can include older children sometimes starting as young as five or six years’ old who are considered “healthy” or children in sibling groups of varying ages. Sibling groups can be siblings of two, three or even four children that the country’s adoption authority does not want to separate, but who cannot be easily placed with a family. Finally, special needs can also include children with medical needs ranging from slight and correctable medical needs to more severe and lifelong medical needs to children exhibiting behavioral, emotional issues or developmental delays.

Sadly, a child with special needs can be categorized and statistically have a much smaller chance of finding a forever family. They are just as deserving as other children, but for many reasons, prospective adoptive families seek to adopt younger and healthier children. All countries have children who have been orphaned, and are considered hard to place. I have personally seen these children in each country I have visited and in every orphanage and am sadden when I realize some of these children will never realize a family and will age out of the orphanage to a life with little hope.

While your family may not initially think that an older child or a child with medical needs is something that you are open to, it is worth researching. You may be surprised the medical needs of some of the children that results in them being placed on a special needs waitlist or on Nightlight’s waiting child site, Adoption Bridge. Children with a medical need may be younger children and considered special needs due to correctable medical conditions such as cleft lip or palate, being born to a mentally ill birth mother, hepatitis, positive for the Sickle Cell trait as well as more serious illnesses such as HIV, Sickle Cell disease, epilepsy or limb deformities. Medical needs are wide ranging and should be researched fully before a family commits to being open to a child with a specific or medical need.

In most countries, the adoption authority does not want to split sibling groups. This can mean that one older sibling, or the size of the sibling group prevents multiple children from ever experiencing the love and commitment of a family. While it does take a special family to adopt siblings of two children or more, it meets a critical need in international adoption, and allows the sisters and brothers to remain together. In several of our international adoption programs, families who have been open to adopting a sibling group of two, three or even four children have been matched quickly, and the children have been considered healthy.

For families considering adopting older children, children with known medical needs or a large sibling group should not only have done research about the needs that the children potentially have, but should also have a strong support system and fully understand how the needs of the adopted children will impact their family.

Nightlight believes that every child deserves a loving and permanent family, regardless of their age, gender, ethnicity, number of siblings or health status. We are specifically seeking families to adopt a child with special or medical needs in many of our programs, including adoption from Bulgaria, Dominican Republic and Burkina Faso. Nightlight’s Ukraine and Colombia programs are focused on older children and sibling groups and both countries offer hosting programs.

Where to begin? Adoption Bridge connects harder to place children with loving adoptive families willing and able to meet their needs.

To make a donation to help a family overcome the financial barriers of adopting a child with special needs, please visit our donation page or Adoption Bridge.

By: Sonja Brown

Embracing Autism

Autism can seem mysterious to people that have not experienced someone with the diagnosis in their family or know people that have the diagnosis. It can leave one feeling uncertain about how to respond to someone who does not make eye contact or respond with enthusiasm. One might ask “how do I communicate with someone with the diagnosis?”

General Information

One thing we know for sure is that not all persons are the same regardless of the diagnosis. It can range from mild to severe in symptoms and functioning. Only a doctor or psychologist can diagnose it, and they do not use a blood test or medical test to detect it. They must look at behaviors and development stages of a person. There is not a known single cause other than differences in brain structure and function. Brain scans show that there is difference in the structure when compared to others without the symptoms. It is treated with behavioral therapy to learn skills to interact with others better and manage emotions. It can be assessed as early as two years of age and is four times more likely to be diagnosed in males. Forty percent of children do not speak.

Common Characteristics

Many persons start at a young age appearing distant from others and not responding to their name being called, and they lack eye contact. Their face and voice tone do not show emotion, and they may not join in with others to play or do activities. They have interest in certain objects they repetitively play with such as lining up cars and other repetitive behaviors. Difficulty transitioning from routines and activities is common and inability to process sensory inputs from the environment. They may cover their ears or eyes because the sounds and sights literally hurt or are too strong compared to the general populations experience. Certain textures of food and fabrics or flashing lights can feel extremely strong to them. Their brain does work the same for them to pick up on the social cues that everyone else learns to express themselves, but they do love and care about others.

Reasons for Challenging Behavior

As mentioned above, persons with Autism have difficulty with unstructured time and are sensitive to their environment. The overwhelming feeling, they experience with the sensory inputs can create stress and anxiety. The sensory overload makes it difficult for them to focus, and they may become irritable and resistant due to discomfort. They do have feelings, but they struggle with how to express them in way that others understand. A change in their routine, transitioning from activities, feeling hungry, tired or sick can make it difficult for them to express themselves, and they get angry or frustrated. Signs of stress can be pacing, rocking, or repeating the same question.

Tips for Interacting

Speak clearly and precise in short sentences so that children feel less overwhelmed. Using pictures of items can help them communicate their needs. Activities that relax children are bubbles, music, and swimming, when talking with teens use their name and ask questions about their interest. Address adults as you would anyone and say what you mean directly. Take time to listen and wait for responses. They need our respect and love.

written by Lisa Richardson

Abounding Opportunities for Children with Down Syndrome

In case you didn’t know, October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. As a mother to a child with Down Syndrome it’s one of my favorite months as it gives me a good excuse to talk about my child to anyone who will listen! But every year at least one person asks me why we need an awareness month because, “Everyone knows about Down Syndrome” they claim. The truth is, while people know DS exists, most of the perceptions about people with DS and their lives are largely outdated and inaccurate. This is partially because the educational and social opportunities available for children like my son are growing and increasing every year in communities all across the world. These new opportunities help people with DS reach their full potential and bring a new sense of community among special needs families.

If you have a new child with Down Syndrome or are considering adopting a child with Down Syndrome you probably want to take advantage of these types of opportunities, but you may not know where to look for them. While every community is different and I can’t tell you exactly what’s in your area, there are some things that should be available no matter where you live and other programs that are common in most cities.

Therapies and special education are a HUGE part of life when you have a child with DS, and every child with DS is provided certain things through the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Depending on your child’s age they will be provided services such as therapies (sometimes in-home or at school), play groups, pre-school, early intervention services, service coordinators, and employment services (for teens and adults). A good early interventionist or service coordinator can be extremely helpful in getting you connected to other services available in your state such as respite care funding, diaper programs (for older children), community support waivers, free medical equipment programs, and information about Medicaid eligibility. For more information about the IDEA, you can visit their official website here: https://sites.ed.gov/idea/

Community is vitally important to everyone but especially for families and individuals with special needs. When you are not part of a community, it’s easy to feel so alone, like no one understands your life or your child. But when you get connected… It’s hard to describe the kind of instant connection you can have with someone when you realize that you both have a child with DS. Thankfully, most communities have some type of special needs family support, and the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS) has over 375 local affiliates all over the US. These organizations can provide emotional support, advice, and socialization for the whole family! Our local Down Syndrome Association is very active and has multiple events every month. With opportunities like mothers’ night out, private events at the local children’s museum, summer camps, and the annual Buddy Walk… there really is something for everyone! Your child’s service coordinator or early interventionist can help get you connected to one of these associations, or you can check the NDSS website here: https://sites.ed.gov/idea/ . Another great community can be found in online groups. I’m a member of a special mom’s support group on Facebook which has been very helpful for me. Besides just the emotional support and information on local events, the ladies in the group offer amazing advice on everything from potty training kids with special needs, to toys, to which movie theaters are the most “sensory friendly”.

Before I had a child with Down Syndrome I had NO IDEA about all the local events and opportunities available to people with special needs. There are so many that it would take me weeks to compile an accurate list of events in just the upstate of SC, but here’s my quick list of popular other opportunities to check for in your area:

– County Rec camps and swim lessons for special needs individuals
– Special Needs day or Sensory Friendly day at your local children’s museum or zoo
– Sensory friendly events at your county library
– Date night or respite night at your local church
– Kid’s gyms or playgrounds with inclusive equipment for kids with all abilities
– Sensory friendly movie times at the movie theater

– “Wings for All” program at your local airport to help older child practice before they travel
– Sports teams, dance groups, and horseback riding programs that are inclusive
– Holiday events like egg hunts, parades, or Santa encounters that have special needs areas or times

The point is, opportunities abound if you know where to look for them. And if something doesn’t exist yet, maybe you can help start it! Almost every event or opportunity for our kids exists because of a parent and a community. A parent who said “my kid needs this” and a community who helped make it happen!

If you have a child with special needs, tell me what’s your favorite event or opportunity in your community? I love hearing new ideas and discovering new programs!

written by Jennifer P | Adoptive Momma

Needs of Children Adopted Internationally

In International adoption, the term “special needs” encapsulates a wide variety of characteristics and diagnoses. Special needs not only includes those in wheelchairs, with missing limbs, etc.; it also includes those with learning difficulties or emotional and behavioral difficulties. Most children who join their family through adoption have some sort of special need, or at least may initially demonstrate a special need due to institutionalized living. When a prospective adoptive parent begins the adoption process, they will be asked to review a list of characteristics of the child they wish to adopt. This list is extensive and can be quite overwhelming. Unless a prospective adoptive parent has a background in the medical field, they may be unfamiliar with many of the listed diagnosis. The list includes familiar health issues like asthma and diabetes but also includes less known health issues like strabismus, raised angioma and nevuses. Nightlight recommends that prospective adoptive parents consult an international adoption doctor to decide what special needs their family is able to handle. When adopting internationally, it is important to establish a relationship with an international adoption clinic or physician. Once a family receives a referral of a specific child, the child’s medical reports should also be reviewed by an international doctor. Nightlight also recommends that once the child arrives home they visit an international adoption clinic.

A child in need of a family is likely not perfectly healthy. The child may have some behavior issues, be malnourished, have food insecurities, struggle with attachment, and possibly have infectious diseases or parasites. Living in congruent care does not leave a child unscarred, healthy, and without needs. My daughter was characterized as “healthy” in her referral and when you look at her she has all of her limbs and looks perfectly healthy but she has many invisible special needs that affect her daily living. Some examples of invisible special needs that may not be identified in an orphanage but are commonly diagnosed in children from hard places include: ADHD, sensory processing disorder (SPD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), anxiety, food hoarding, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Special needs are also identified differently among international adoption country programs. For example, in Burkina Faso and Peru adopting a child over the age of 6 is considered “special needs,” while in Ukraine a child will not be entered on the international adoption registry until the age of 5. Some countries like Bulgaria have a list of waiting children who are in need of families. Many times, these children on a waiting list have more significant needs, are older or are part of a large sibling group. Depending on your family you may be able to meet the needs of these children. If so, please contact the program director of the country you’re interested in adopting from to get more information.

The characteristics of children living abroad who are in need of families are different now than they’ve been in the past. Infant adoptions are rare and typically the process takes much longer if an adoptive parent is not open to many special needs. However, making the decision to adopt a child with special needs must be something the whole family is comfortable with. Each family will need to determine what level of additional needs they are capable and comfortable accepting and are willing to provide services for their child. We recommend that you research and talk to an international adoption doctor to make the best choice for your family.

This post was republished with permission from Angela Simpson at MLJ Adoptions International.

Autism Advocacy: Fight the Good Fight for Them!

In March 2017 my husband, daughter and I welcomed our son/brother into our family through international adoption. Anthony and I were beyond grateful for Nightlight Christian Adoptions, our home study agency and our adoption agency, MLJ Adoptions International Inc. requiring so much education prior to traveling that gave us the tools to begin the attachment process and to help Jonathan journey down the path of healing and connection. As we settled in at home, we knew to best help Jonathan we needed further education and took a TBRI Caregiver course that gave us invaluable information and went in depth on explaining trauma and how it affects connection. We did several in home sessions with Amie Cooper, the Flourishing Families TBRI Practitioner, which took all that we had learned and really tailored it to Jonathan and our family. We saw improvements with each session.

After a year of sifting through behaviors and recognizing some that were outside of the trauma realms, we decided to have Jonathan evaluated by a psychologist. His behaviors did in fact fall on the autism spectrum. For us nothing changed by having this diagnosis but for Jonathan this meant that the world would have a better understanding on how to help him. Doors opened for Jonathan for therapies that he so desperately needed. The public school system was able to meet Jonathan where he was and give him assistance he needed.

God has truly put a dream team together that supports him in every aspect, they genuinely care for him as a whole person and us. Now don’t get me wrong, it did take some time to find the right people but you are your child’s greatest advocate in every area! Fight the good fight for them. The best advice I could give a parent would be, don’t settle and trust your instincts because this can be portrayed as an invisible disability.

Because Jonathan sees the world differently, he has taught me to slow down, to look at the details. And I have learned more about dinosaurs and the human body than I ever knew! He really likes dinosaurs and learning how things work. When I look in his eyes, I see a child that is smart, brave and strong. I am so proud of Jonathan and all that he has accomplished. With his schedule full of therapies, he works harder than most kids his age. The first time I saw him draw a flower it brought tears to my eyes, to me it wasn’t just a flower, I saw all the hours his resource teacher, OT and so many more has poured onto him helping him. How do you say thank you to those people? The people that are helping our son manage his world around him, to learn skills that for most take for granted.

We truly believe being able to have the strong foundation established at the beginning through TBRI practices along with the help of Flourishing Families, we were able to enter into the second year advocating for Jonathan successfully as we continued to connect and grow as a family. Jonathan has already touched so many people in his life I know God has big plans for him and am humbled to be able to be his mom and to see God work in his life.

If you are a foster or adoptive family in the State of South Carolina, be sure to check out Flourishing Families and the services they provide at https://www.flourishingfamiliessc.org/

~Anthony and Jennifer G.

World Down Syndrome Day: “Leave No One Behind”

This year on World Down Syndrome Day 2019, the charge and call of action for every person with Down Syndrome and the advocates who support them is to tell the world to “leave no one behind.” Every person with Down Syndrome is capable, deserving, and worthy to live a full life with equal opportunities. In a world where many are self-focused and driven in their own paths for life, our brothers and sisters with Down Syndrome often face exclusion and discrimination and are often “left behind.” This is especially true for our waiting children.

I had the chance to sit down with an adoptive family, Ross & Tamara, currently in the process of bringing home their two-year-old daughter from South East Asia for an interview. Here is a snippet of what we discussed.

What should other families considering adoption know about Down Syndrome?

Down Syndrome is often looked at in a negative light, but there is life and life abundant in parenting a child with Down Syndrome. Above all, she will be our daughter first, our daughter who also happens to have Down Syndrome. Down Syndrome will be a small part of her journey here on this earth, but it will not define her journey. There are opportunities to live a full life and many children are capable of holding jobs, driving cars, and going to college. Yes, parenting a child with Down Syndrome might add more to your life with things like speech therapies, visits to the doctor, and advocating for schooling, however, parenting a child with Down Syndrome will add more to your life in other ways; filling your heart with joy, having a love for others, and caring for the least of these. A verse that we have been praying over our family has been Psalm 68: 5-6; “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling, God sets the lonely in families.”

When was your heart first stirred towards parenting a child with Down Syndrome?

My heart was first stirred towards parenting a child with Down Syndrome when I read the article, Where Have All the Kids with Down Syndrome Gone?. The article focuses on the increased rate of abortion when a diagnosis of Down Syndrome is given. As a pro-life family, we want to walk in truth and walk in action. If we are fighting for pro-life, we should also fight for the children that are waiting and take action to support them. For us, that means adoption, for others, that might mean advocating.

What does your community and support system look like?

Our community does not have many families that are parenting children with Down Syndrome, however, we have found several online communities and forums that are so supportive and available to answer all of our questions. Our church community has also been very supportive! They have come alongside of us and are praying and patiently waiting for the arrival of our daughter into our community. Our local Regional Center and school district offer plenty of early intervention and educational resources that we are so excited about accessing once our daughter comes home!

Let’s stand beside our friends with Down Syndrome and be a part of leaving no one behind! Here are a few links to increase your knowledge of Down Syndrome and to advocate for our friends. Let us know some of your favorites!

Resources about Down Syndrome and Parenting children with Down Syndrome:

https://www.heatheravis.com/the-lucky-few-the-book

https://reecesrainbow.org/

https://www.ndsan.org/

God’s Call to Single Parenting

I have always known that I wanted to adopt. Like many women, I assumed that it would be after I was married. However, God had a different plan for me, and I continue to be blessed beyond anything I could have imagined. I am a single mama of two precious boys, both adopted from China. We are now in the process of adding a little princess to our family. Trusting God to build my family has been one of the most faith-building and awe-inspiring things in my life.

I work in a neonatal intensive care unit. When I was still in training, I came across a picture of my first son. God made it quite clear that he was my son. I am so thankful that God was faithful to speak loudly and clearly enough that even my feeble faith at the time could follow Him. It seemed illogical. I was in training. I was single. I was very stretched financially. And the child he showed me was a 5 year old boy. Weren’t single women supposed to adopt little girls? To top it off, this child was deaf, a special need that I wasn’t prepared for. No one in my family knew sign language and I knew that he NEEDED extended family if I was to adopt him as a single mama. Time after time, God moved mountains. Family members were learning sign language, finances came through at the last minute, and my precious son Samuel has now been home for 4.5 years. Beyond all explanation, this child who had no language for almost 6 years is now a fluent English language speaker.

Within the first year of coming home, Samuel began to pray for a brother. I should have known then what was coming! I wasn’t ready AT ALL. We had just moved to a new state where I knew no one so that Samuel could attend a school for the deaf. But God was moving. One year later, I began the process to adopt again, I thought this time for a little girl. Once again, I had no idea how God was going to do this, financially or otherwise. Three days later, a friend texted me the picture of a little boy, asking if I had seen him on the advocacy websites. On that same day, my agency called with a referral for a little girl, exactly the age and a manageable special need that was on my heart. A few minutes later, I stood at my computer and I saw the most beautiful, perfect little face pop up on my screen. She was a vision and I knew instantly that she wasn’t mine. I sobbed and sobbed. What was wrong with me? My heart kept pulling to the little boy in my text message. Seriously God? TWO BOYS? As a single mama? I thought for sure I was not hearing correctly. I called my agency back and asked for time to pray. Three days later, I called to decline the little girl’s file and accept the little boy’s but my faith-walk wasn’t over yet. This time God didn’t “write on the wall”. This time, it was a still small voice that I really wanted to drowned out. But HE gave me courage to walk forward. That most precious little boy was in my arms in FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS! Start to finish, this was the fastest journey I had ever heard about. God provided social supports and the necessary finances in the way only God can do. Once again, He provided where I saw no way. And my Averey? He is the cuddliest, most affectionate child I have ever met. He is the perfect, funny, light-hearted balance to my serious, determined first son. They are the family only God could build.

Then in September of 2017, Averey started praying for a little sister. It took awhile for his brother to come around, but then they ganged up on me. And here we are, at another cross-roads. I have no more idea what God has in store this time than I did the other times. Samuel has graduated from the school for the deaf and both boys are attending a public school for the first time this year. We were able to move to a smaller community closer to friends and family and things have settled into a nice even pace again.

Like with Samuel and Averey, God led to my daughter. Our precious little girl (“little sister” as we refer to her at home) is waiting for us in China and we are well on our way to bringing her home. God has shown Himself already in a million ways like only He can. It gets harder each time to figure out the finances of adoption. I have expired my retirement, I just bought my first house ever with zero down and am still paying on my college loans. It seems risky at worst, unwise at best, but I have seen HIM through this process more clearly than I ever have before. He has changed me, shaped me, and molded me through the stretching of my faith. He has built a village around us and continues to do so. I continue to pray for His guidance and His provision. It is a scary thing, walking into adoption as a single parent. I watch my boys sleeping at night and am in awe that I get to co-parent them. They love to tell people who ask, “My daddy is God.” I guess that pretty well sums it up.

— Amber (Adoptive Mom)

National Down Syndrome Awareness Month

Jay and Kait Lakhani are currently in the process of adopting a little girl from China. They have named her Joanna. Joanna was born with Down syndrome. Ironically, after a 16 month journey, Jay and Kait will be traveling to bring her home at the end of October. October happens to be National Down Syndrome Awareness month! Down syndrome is the most common chromosomal condition, occurring in 1 of every 700 births here in the United States. Although we do not know the statistics for births in other countries, this special need is particularly close to my heart due to the sheer number of children we advocate for with this diagnosis. Each of these children need a loving home where they can have access to the love of a family and medical care they deserve.

Jay and Kait felt a calling to adopt, even before they married. They have a history of working with the fatherless as they lived in Uganda for a time and worked in orphan care while living there. Having both worked in the medical field, Jay and Kait are aware of many complicated medical needs and were called to care for a child who cannot care for themselves. When they first began exploring adoption, they knew that they wanted to adopt a child that was harder to place. They were seeking to give a home to a child that would not have a home otherwise.

They began considering adoption from the country of China and specifically a child born with Down syndrome. China’s shared list currently has 3,570 files on it and a huge number on that list contains files of children with Down syndrome. This condition is not unique to China. There are children throughout the United States and all over the world in need of a loving family willing to care for them. Many websites advocate specifically for children with this condition because the need for families to parent these children is so great. The National Down Syndrome Adoption Network works to connect families with children available for adoption domestically and through the foster care system. Reece’s Rainbow advocates for children with Down syndrome and other special needs as well. You can search for waiting children available through Nightlight’s programs by visiting Adoption Bridge.

Adopting a child with an identified medical condition can be scary. There are many unknowns in the process regardless of your child’s medical needs. Kait shared some of her fears about their upcoming adoption. She is worried about how this will impact the life of her biological children. Jay and Kait have a son and a daughter that are very young. When they bring Joanna home, they will have 3 children all within 9 months age of one other – toddlers at that! Another fear are the unknowns associated with international adoption. It is not always easy to have the most up to date information when you are adopting internationally. There is a lot they will not know about Joanna until they bring her home and have her fully evaluated by medical professionals. Of course, like all international adoptive parents, Kait worries that their happiest day – the day they finally meet Joanna – will be her hardest because Joanna will be leaving everything she has ever known. Finally, Kait stated they are going into this adoption knowing they will likely provide care for Joanna for the rest of their lives.

While there are many fears that go along with adopting a child with a special need, there are even more things to look forward to. Jay and Kait are excited to parent Joanna and seeing her life follow God’s special plan he has laid out for her. They want to show her, each day, how wonderful and wanted she is. Of all things, Kait wants to make sure that Joanna knows how much she is loved. She hopes she will understand that God did not make a mistake when he made her and that she is perfect the way she is. They also look forward to raising their three children together and have already started teaching their other children that everyone is created with different needs and that Joanna’s needs are going to be different from theirs. They also look forward to their children growing up together, learning from one another and hopefully becoming the best of friends.

We are thrilled that God has called this special family to adopt Joanna and we know that he has a special plan for her life. She will grow up in a home where she is loved unconditionally. I encourage you to read a short story, Welcome to Holland, by Emily Perl Kingsley. She gives a great metaphor for parenting a child with special needs. If you are interested in adopting a waiting child, visit Adoption Bridge, or call one of our Inquiry Specialists at (502)423-5780 to learn more.

Disabilities Awareness Month: An Adoption Story

Lilly, born in China, was welcomed into the loving arms of her mom and dad, Jenny and Daniel, at the age of 3 years. That was nearly a decade ago, not long after I began working with the China program! I recently reconnected with Jenny to talk about Lilly’s journey over the past ten years. Jenny fondly recalls the excitement of being matched with Lilly. Although they were thrilled to become parents, there were looming questions about her diagnosis which had the potential to cause great fear. Lilly was born with spina bifida and hydrocephalus, both of which were surgically repaired in China shortly after her birth. Jenny shared that while she and her husband were hopeful that the surgeries had been successful, they did not know the extent of damage or what her future would hold.

As directed, they researched her medical needs and spoke to a physician specializing in international adoption. They learned of worst case scenarios while staying cautiously optimistic. Jenny stated it was easy to allow fear to slip in as they waited to travel. While worrying about mobility issues, possible paralysis, cognitive deficits, future needs and surgeries, they also began thinking about accommodations that could be made to ensure she was given the best life they could provide for her. Through it all, they trusted God would provide and pressed forward.

Lilly came to them as a tiny 28 pound 3 year old wearing 12-18 month clothing. She could barely walk and had many other physical delays common of children coming from less than optimal care. These deficits were quickly overcome through short term therapy. Jenny reports, however, that the personality that emerged within a few days of placement in China is the same personality Lilly exhibits today which has allowed her to overcome and flourish.

Due to the spina bifida, Lilly has some hip displacement and wears braces on her legs requiring occasional appointments at Shriners Hospital for adjustments. Because of the hydrocephalus, she has a shunt and sees a neurologist every other year. She also requires annual visits to an ophthalmologist to check the pressure behind her eyes. Despite the braces, mobility is not an issue and she even cheers for an Upward basketball team! She is actively involved in choir, musicals and theatre and does not allow her orthotics to limit her abilities. Cognitively, she is fine and does well in school. Other than medical visits to monitor her conditions, Lilly is a typical pre-teen on the brink of celebrating her 13^th birthday next month.

Jenny told me that as a parent, her greatest challenge has been advocating for her daughter medically. While she trusts her treating specialists and referred to them as “amazing,” she also trusts her own instincts as Lilly’s mother. She shared that the neuro department wanted to perform a procedure on Lilly’s shunt, however, Lilly was not showing any neurological symptoms to indicate intervention was needed at the time. Despite the surgical recommendation, they made a decision together as a family to wait after learning there were more risks with having the surgery than not. They realize that surgery may be needed in the future and will face that when the time comes.

Jenny and Daniel have also taught Lilly how to deal with curious questions from her friends as well as prying questions from others. They have given her the confidence that her adoption story and tough beginning are HER story and she can choose to share the details or keep them private. Her outgoing personality works to her favor in this regard.

When I asked Jenny what she would like other parents to know as they consider a special needs adoption, she said, “Disability does not mean constant illness and inabilities.” She shared that Lilly is a very healthy child and in the past 10 years, has probably seen her pediatrician for sick visits only 3-4 times. She also reiterated all of the positives in Lilly’s life and above all she wanted to share that Lilly had taught her and the rest of their family to persevere. Watching Lilly navigate the hardships in her life “has been amazing to see!” In talking with Jenny, it became clear long before she said it that, “As her mother, she makes me so proud!”

2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.