You just received the call and your first foster placement is on the way to your home. Now what? The first 30 days are often a whirlwind of appointments, emotions, and new routines, so here are five tips for surviving your first 30 days of placement.
- Make a list of your important to-dos
There are many practical items to remember to do with your new placement, so writing things down can help you stay organized. Add to your list the appointments your foster child will need within the first few days of placement, such as medical, dental, and mental health appointments. Also, put a reminder to complete a fire drill within the required timeframe for your state. You may also want to schedule a time to visit your local foster closet to stock up on clothing items for your foster child.
Discuss with the child’s case manager the plan for the child’s schooling and enroll the child in school once you are given permission by the case manager. Shortly after the placement occurs, expect your Foster Care Advocate to reach out to schedule a home visit! Your foster child’s guardian ad litem and DSS caseworker will also make contact to introduce themselves and set up visits.
- Take it one day at a time
It’s okay to say no to outside things and take time to adjust as a family. Be flexible in your scheduling this month, as the many initial appointments and adjustment to fostering will take a lot of your time. Understand that there can be an adjustment period as the child is still getting to know you, and you are getting to know the child. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and take it one day at a time.
- Set up routines while being flexible
Create consistent and predictable routines to help your foster child feel safe and know what to expect in your home. Your foster child may not be used to having a routine or structure, so be flexible when setting up these routines. It is important to have a lot of grace for your foster child, yourself, and other members of your household during this transition. Start slow and introduce routines slowly. Keep your expectations developmentally appropriate and take into account the trauma the child has experienced.
- Be intentional about attachment
Spend time getting to know your foster child – their likes, dislikes, personality, and hobbies. Find an activity that the foster child enjoys and do that activity with them! There are also many games you can do with your foster child to help build attachment. Say yes to the little things, and offer as many choices as possible! Connect with your child, and help them feel safe in your home.
- Lean on your support system
Do not be afraid to ask for help! Fostering is hard, but you do not have to do it alone. Having a strong community is important when fostering, and there are many ways your community can take something off your plate. Say yes when a friend offers to babysit or when a neighbor offers to drop off a meal!
Things look different in each foster home, as every child, foster family, and situation is unique, but these are some practical first steps to help aid in the transition into foster parenting.
