Grief is something that everyone experiences at some point in their life. Everyone expresses their grief in different ways, and children are no exception. Grief is a complex process for adults, and it can be even more confusing for children. As caregivers, being aware of what grief behaviors might be communicating can be extremely helpful in how you respond to the behaviors.
Here are some grief behaviors to be on the lookout for:
- Mood Swings - They could be crying one minute and playing with their toys the next.
- Separation Anxiety - Grieving children often experience some sort of separation anxiety from their caregivers. They may not want to go to school or participate in extra-curricular activities.
- Distracted - Their brains are so full of so many emotions and thoughts, so following directions and listening can become overwhelming.
- Behavior Changes - Children experiencing grief may find themselves getting into trouble at school, throwing tantrums, or becoming aggressive.
These behaviors are just a few of the many that grieving children may exhibit. It is important as caregivers to make sure that you are looking for the “why” behind your child’s behaviors. Determining the “why” behind the behavior can help determine what your response should be as the caregiver.
How to best respond to these grief behaviors as caregivers:
- Acknowledge their grief - As your children are navigating the grieving process, come alongside them and help them identify and acknowledge their grief. Let them know that it is okay to grieve. It is better to acknowledge the grief than to ignore it.
- Make yourself available - Sometimes children do not want to discuss hard things and deep emotions, but this does not mean that you should not make yourself available and approachable to your children. Be intentional about letting your children know that they can come to you and share what is on their hearts.
- Listen - Often, grieving children just need someone to listen to them. When your children come to you to talk about their grief, be present in both your verbal and nonverbal communication with them.
- Reassure them - With grief often comes anxiety and uncertainty. It is imperative that your children know that they are loved, they are safe, and that they belong.
Grief is not a “one-size-fits-all" experience. The best thing that caregivers can do for their children is be patient with them and extend grace to them as they navigate this complex process. If you need help navigating your child's grief, contact the Post Adoption Connection Center for support.