For families who have adopted and birth mothers who have made the selfless choice of adoption, Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate both families. This is why many celebrate Birth Mother’s Day every Saturday before Mother’s Day in May. No matter how families choose to do so, it is important to recognize the incredible gift that birth mothers have given to adoptive families.
There are many ways to honor birth mothers in celebration of this day of recognition:
- Talk to your child about their birth parents
Retell their adoption story and how they came into your lives. Be open and honest and focus on the positives. Include photographs, if you have them, and allow a safe space for the child to ask any questions and explore emotions.
- Make something for their birth mother
Even the smallest of gestures, like a card signed by the child, can mean the most. Some families choose to put something together for their child’s birth parents, like a small scrapbook of photos and drawings from their child or letters written to them. Include milestone information, like school academics or making the basketball team, etc. A personalized gift is a wonderful way to honor the birth mother.
- Plant flowers or a tree
Planting flowers, or a tree, is a special way to recognize the birth mother and observe this special day for your family. While working together as a family, this is a great time to ask the child if they have any questions about their birth family or talk to them about their birth family. Again, focusing on the positives and the information you do have about the birth family is a great way to keep the connection present.
- Plan a virtual or in-person get together
It is completely normal to not be ready for this kind of interaction, however, if both parties are open to it, it can be a great way to keep the connection between the child and their birth family active. With technology access at most everyone’s fingertips, scheduling a FaceTime or Zoom call has never been easier. Families can opt to do this several times a year or just an annual “touching base” call. Others like to meet in person, making a special trip from the experience.
Whatever families choose to do to honor birth mothers, or birth mothers honoring adoptive mothers, it is important to remember that all moms matter and should be celebrated. If you have questions about navigating post-adoption relationships, please reach out to Nightlight Post Adoption Connection Center: https://nightlight.org/pacc/