September 11, 2023

Trusting God in Adoption


Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

The Lord has given us the tools and guidance to overcome hardships, anguish, or pain. We feel the Lord at our side during these times but how often do we fight it? We wish for a different outcome or do not have the full picture of what is to come. During this fight we start to miss the opportunities left for us by the Lord.  One family and birth mother walked together by the Lords hand and was blessed to see the opportunities laid before them. This is their story:


In November 2019, Nightlight’s South Carolina began working with a birth mother who was due to deliver in March 2020.  Two days before Christmas, the birth mother was matched with J and S from Colorado.  Over the next few months, the three of them began developing a relationship that is as unique and special as the three of them.


After delivering a precious baby boy on Thursday, March 19, 2020, this birth mother was very much struggling with her decision to place vs. parent. She felt so sure of herself during her pregnancy; however, once he arrived, she felt completely overwhelmed.  By the time J and S met me at the hospital on Friday, March 20, 2020, she was completely torn; however, she still wanted to meet them if they were open to meeting her.  J and S were beyond supportive of the birth mother and the difficult decision she had ahead.  The birth mom ultimately wanted more time with the baby before making a decision, which J and S respected and understood.  S and J still wanted to meet her, and together, the four of us spent close to 3 hours together. The conversation that ensued between this family and birth mother was unlike anything I have ever seen. J is a passionate man about everything, and their conversation covered some of the deepest and most personal topics in a person’s life. They discussed God and the Bible, and the birth mother shared that she has always struggled with her beliefs because she never had the backing of a family who was open-minded or understood.  J and S prayed with her and over her, and it was absolutely beautiful. They laughed and cried together.  J and S told the birth mom that even if they spent the last 48 hours driving just so they could help her find God and peace with parenting, then that is all they were meant to do.


Saturday morning, I received a text from the birth mother stating some of the following, “My heart is screaming to try to do it myself. I don’t want to be selfish and ask J and S to keep open on the chance that I cannot do it on my own and that I need them, but I am hoping they will… For the first time since my grandma died, I have laughed and smiled and felt at peace, and it was with the three of you. That made me feel like I might have a chance to do this. But if I can’t, it would be them... I can’t explain what happened today, but all I know is I need more of that, and I feel so selfish for asking or saying that.”  After talking with the birth mother, I called J and S and let them know her decision to move forward with parenting.  J and S are some of the most gracious and selfless people I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. They asked if I could come by their AirBnB so they could give all the baby things they had to the birth mother because they did not want to her worry about the trivial things.  They shared that if they could not share their fruits with her, then they were not true believers in the Lord, and it was important for them to be able to do all they could for her.


Monday, March 23, 2020, I received a text from the birth mom at 5:45 am stating that she could not parent, and she wanted J and S to be this sweet baby’s parents.  J and S had left town the day before to begin their 3-day drive back to CO.  When I got in touch with J and S; I learned they had made it to Illinois.  They decided to pull over and wait until the paperwork was completed before turning around.  The birth mom signed the paperwork and then asked if she could call J and S with me.  J and S turned around and made their way back to SC to meet their son and bring him home from the hospital.  God was in control of this wonderful relationship that has undoubtedly grown stronger and stronger as the days, months, and years pass.  Adoption is filled with grief, but in the end, it is the faith, joy, and love found in adoption that will carry us through.

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