Our homestudy is done, we have a referral with photos and medicals safe in our file and we are simply waiting for the God-ordained time between today and the moment we either hold baby J as our own precious child or release him into a destiny outside of us. He is currently in a legal risk situation and the feelings I have range from absolute panic to simple denial and they swing widely within any given day. How do I invest my heart in the outcome without opening myself to despair should something shift and we discover that he is not ordained to be a part of our family?
Another almost unanswerable adoption question, but for today I give in to the hope and love that my heart has for baby J and trust that if he is to be somewhere else, my faith will grow deeper for having loved him(even from afar) and that he will have been blessed through my regular prayers and petitions. Praying passionately over babies and children I may never parent has become a theme in my life and the best way to make it through these waiting seasons. As a hopeful mom I can positively choose to intercede for a child who may have no one else who cares or knows enough to bring their needs to the one who loves then best, and my time has never been wasted.
Even as I type I am praying over baby J and all of the adoptive families who will read this as they are facing their own waiting seasons. May your time be filled with prayer and not consumed with worry.