February 7, 2008

Afraid of Attachment Disorder? One mom's thoughts.

bodhegirlhappyAs the mom to 6 adopted kids I try hard not to be afraid when I need to research Attachment Disorders and all of the psychologically disruptive things that this diagnosis can indicate. Rather than reacting out of fear, I have learned to process what I learn with a sober mind and a prayerful heart. In the daily living with my children, I can see that there is no single answer to the problems we experience. Thankfully, my kids are not wholly defined by the fact that they were adopted, it is just one part of who they are, and just like their racial identity it isn't the whole.

We have hard things within our family (Gasp! Didn't you all think we were perfect?!) One child had a sleep disorder of violent intensity, another a learning delay that caused real concern, and a third with physical responses that indicated abuse where there has been none. It has taken a lot of research to figure out how to deal with each issue and each child. Sometimes I find the answers in Attachment Therapy, other times it's through the medical community, and sometimes its beautifully been solved through prayer. The hardest things are when there is no answer and I just have to live with the issue, pray my way through it and trust that in God's timing it may be resolved. I know that God made people relational and it's my job to learn how to connect with my kids, where ever they are at, because that's a huge part of being a mom.

If you are thinking about adoption or experiencing a hard place with a child, I pray you will not be afraid, but that you will be sober and trust the same God that builds your family to help you work through or endure the hard things that come with each child.

0 comments on “Afraid of Attachment Disorder? One mom's thoughts.”

  1. Amen, Dorothy!

    Each child is unique (adopted or not) and God uses them as a means of our sanctification-as if marriage isn't enough of a sanctifying tool! 🙂

    We need to hear more from Christian families who by God's grace are humbly seeking to parent children touched (and unfortunately shaped) by abandonment, neglect and/or abuse.

  2. Attachment disorder and other scary things about adoption » from hope to reality » the adoption blog of carolina hope christian adoption agency says:

    [...] continue the discussion, Dorothy Bode wrote a wonderful reflection on the struggles and joys that she has experienced as an adoptive mother. (Dorothy’s post is [...]

    1. I randomly strtead crying, okay kind of balling as I read this. We just had our 3rd child and we feel like there is room for more. And we could have more. But we have also considered, or more mentioned in passing, adoption. And your former fears and feelings are some of my very same. the intersection of someone’s need and our ability is right where I want to be. This will stay with me and maybe I will be writing our we're adopting post one day. Soon?

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