Release My Children

Our fertility journey began when I was twenty-nine. After trying to conceive for a year, I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve. After seeing several reproductive endocrinologists, in vitro seemed the most promising option moving forward. My husband and I are very outcome-focused people, so with motivated spirits we pursued two egg retrievals and one transfer, and within six months we were pregnant. We were thrilled to be expecting our first son!

When he was 2 years old, we began pursuing fertility treatments again. This time, we ended up doing three egg retrievals. Unfortunately, after each retrieval, there were no viable embryos to transfer.

I felt crushed, depressed, and hopeless. I thought I would never be able to experience pregnancy again. I had done everything by the book—the injections, medications, acupuncture, diet changes, you name it! I thought, “Why was this happening to us? Doesn’t God know our deepest desire is to grow our family?”

Little did we know, God had a completely different plan in mind!

After the epic IVF failure, we began to consider adoption. We applied with a large agency that specializes in domestic newborn adoption, but as I started to read more about the traditional adoption process, the more I started to have second thoughts. We had concerns about expenses being extremely high, the health of the baby (including prenatal drug exposure), and the idea that the biological mother could change her mind even after the birth. I have the upmost respect and awe for families who are called to adopt traditionally, but these concerns were just not sitting right with us.

Then it happened: Early one morning I woke up at 2:30am, thinking ‘Embryo Adoption.’

Not knowing what it was, I Googled it (of course!) and discovered Nightlight’s Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program. It made so much sense to adopt embryos that have already been created and are waiting for a safe place to grow! I found hope that I could experience pregnancy again. My husband was on board, and we prayed fervently about it.

God answered in the most profound way, Release my children,” He said to my spirit. The definition of release is ‘to set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude.’ We had our answer.

We moved forward with our motivated spirits again! We flew through the home study, doctor visits, adoption education, and other qualifications. Snowflakes prepared us that it could take a few months to be matched, but we were matched in just two weeks! God’s hand was indelibly in this process from the start to finish. We found out that we were pregnant with our Snowflakes Baby, our second son, about six months after beginning our embryo adoption journey!

It is amazing to me that our child was fearfully and wonderfully created across the country the same year we first started trying to conceive. We got to finish what our matched family started and I know without any hesitation that this child was meant for us, to be carried and nurtured, loved and prayed for, by our family. I got to experience the natural birth I always wanted and the invaluable rebirth of my motherhood. We are so blessed beyond measure!

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