Like many young girls, I looked forward to that day when I could be married and have children. As an adult, I fell in love with a man that had already been married once before and did already have a son. Although this wasn’t the situation I necessarily dreamed of as a child, I saw my future husband as the wonderful father he was and knew he would be just as wonderful with any children we shared together.
Once we were married we knew it was time to continue growing our family. After a few years of unsuccessful attempts at getting pregnant, I got that devastating call from my doctor letting me know I would not be able to have any biological children due to premature menopause. This news was pretty devastating at first, but I do have a very strong belief system and know that all things work together for good. Although God had closed one door, I knew He would open another.
We thought about egg donation. After looking into it, we both knew it was just not the path meant for us. My husband was very leery of adoption, but I convinced him to attend an informational meeting with me. Many of his adoption hesitancies were validated at this meeting and I started to feel defeated. I loved my step-son, but would I really never have a child to call my own? Would I resent my husband for having something I couldn’t have? Would he resent me if I pushed him into something he wasn’t comfortable with? So many thoughts, so many doubts swirling in my mind.
Neither of us had ever heard of embryo adoption. At the very end of our adoption meeting, they handed out a pamphlet explaining Snowflakes Embryo Adoption. Together we agreed that this path made the most sense to us. We immediately took action and started the somewhat long process to get home study approved and matched with our embryos. The next steps weren’t “easy” by any means and we spent a lot of time in prayer, a good amount of time being fearful and unsure, time spent learning to communicate our thoughts and feelings with each other, and quite a bit of time spent waiting on God’s timing and God’s plan.
We did experience a miscarriage after our first transfer. It was sad to have hope and then to lose it relatively quickly, but we weren’t ready to give up. Our precious John – snowflake #465 – was the last of 3 embryos we’d been gifted through embryo adoption and he was a strong, spirited, healthy boy born two years after we’d started our Snowflake’s journey. I’m thankful for the network of Snowflake families that sent us encouragement along the way and brought us hope especially during the discouraging times. I’m so grateful for our embryo donors and the path that brought us together. On another exciting level, our experience adopting through Snowflakes helped us feel confident enough to adopt traditionally as well. Five years after we had our “snowflake” we welcomed another baby boy by way of a domestic adoption. We are abundantly blessed and grateful for all of our boys and the path that brought them home to us.
If God has closed a door in your life, don’t stop looking for the new door that he has opened for you.