My husband and I went through difficult fertility with our first son. So for our second son we went straight to IVF. We had agreed to place any remaining embryos for adoption. I remember thinking at the time the likelihood that we would have remaining embryos, that those embryos would get adopted and then turn into viable pregnancies was so improbable.
We received a couple of perspective couple’s adoption profiles. I felt horrible rejecting them. I couldn’t see a child of mine fitting into those families.
Both my sister and my husband were adopted. Both adopted families loved them like any other parent. The only issue was both my sister and my husband had different interests and approached life differently than their adopted families. Having the luxury to find the right fit in a family was important to me after spending my life watching my sister and husband.
One day my older son was practicing riding his bike while his little brother napped. I grabbed the mail and saw the big envelope (another prospective adoptive family) from Snowflakes. Sigh. I was worried we would never find the right fit. I sat down on the curb and opened the envelope.
I got three pages in and started to cry. If we really were going to place our embryos for adoption this was the right family. I could 100% see a child of mine growing up with their love.
Due to the difficulties of my sister and husband with being adopted we firmly believed that we would leave the decision about how involved we would be with the potential children to the adoptive parents. We only asked for a yearly update.
We got so much more. The adoptive family was blessed with two beautiful and thriving children. They are full siblings! I treasure my siblings so I am so glad they have each other. The adoptive family went above and beyond and sent us videos, pictures and letters. It has been beautiful to watch these children grow surrounded by unconditional love.
It confuses many people when I explain about these children. Many people can not believe we let someone adopt our embryos. It was a huge leap of faith that everything would work out for the best.
Placing our embryos for adoption is one of the best decisions we made in our lives. I encourage anyone struggling with fertility to consider adopting an embryo.