We have battled infertility, we were blessed with a family, and had to face the difficult decision on what to do with our remaining embryos… It is extremely hard. Seeing our children grow, we know donation was the right path for us. The knowledge that they were once embryos, we knew in our hearts that we needed to be guardians to lead our remaining embryos to a chance at life with the right adoptive family
Embryo donation is not an easy decision. It is a rollercoaster of emotion, even when you know it is right. There is a lot of fear and questions.
“How do we make sure they end up with the right family?”
“How do we make sure my decision doesn't lead to emotional trauma for our children and genetic children?”
“Will our embryos feel like we've abandoned them?”
Our embryos were created with hope, just like yours were. They are tremendously loved for what they could become. They are part of our infertility journey and the desire to have children bless our family. It is hard to know your family is complete, and there are pieces of hope remaining.
We chose the Snowflakes program because the adoptive families are vetted through a home study process, and we had the choice in the family who would receive our embryos. Snowflakes does not split up embryo donations between multiple recipients, and an open relationship is encouraged between donors and adoptive families.
Ultimately, we knew the decisions we made effect all parties involved, ourselves and our children, and the adoptive family and their future children. Our fear was given faith and reassurance through Snowflakes.
As you are deciding the path for you and your embryos, our advice... Take your time. Be sure you've completed your family. Look at views of donor conceived adults through books and online groups—this helped us understand how to ensure our embryos emotional wellbeing was considered. Know that the right family is out there, just waiting to be blessed with your thoughtful gift. Most importantly, take care of yourselves, and lean on those who have walked a similar path.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Donor