Our journey to parenthood was filled with more hurdles than we could have ever imagined.
We began trying to conceive in 2017, filled with excitement and hope about growing our family. But life quickly took an unexpected turn. In the middle of our attempts to get pregnant, Brian was diagnosed with brain cancer. The news was devastating and life-altering. As anyone who has received a serious diagnosis knows, everything else in life is put on pause. Our dreams of having a child had to take a backseat as we focused on Brian’s health and treatment.
We are incredibly thankful to share that Brian’s cancer was not genetic—we had it thoroughly tested to be sure. And after a long, difficult season of treatments, recovery, and an eventual remission, we began to feel hopeful again. In 2020, we found the strength to try once more to expand our family.
But even with renewed hope and a clean bill of health, we continued to struggle with infertility. After two failed IUI cycles, we decided to pursue IVF in early 2021. The process was emotionally, physically, and financially taxing, but we were committed to giving it our all.
By the grace of God, our very first embryo transfer was successful—and we were overjoyed to learn we were expecting our first child. That October, we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Eli, into the world. He was everything we had prayed for and more.
But only two months after Eli’s birth, Brian passed away. There are no words to describe the heartbreak of losing your partner, especially just after bringing a new life into the world together.
Before Brian passed, we had many deep conversations about our family’s future, conversations that now carry even more weight. One of the most meaningful decisions we made was about what to do with our remaining embryos. After our IVF cycle, we had 13 frozen embryos. Thirteen potential lives. Thirteen chances for another family to experience the joy of parenthood, just as we had.
We talked at length about embryo donation and both felt strongly that this was the path we were meant to take. We knew firsthand the pain and frustration of infertility. We also understood the incredible love that drives people to adopt embryos—children who may not share their DNA but will be no less cherished. We believed that any couple who was choosing embryo adoption had already walked a long, difficult road, and would have a deep well of love to give.
That’s why we made the decision to donate our embryos. To give another couple the chance to grow their family, just as we had. Our hope is that each of these embryos will be given the opportunity to be born into homes filled with love, compassion, and hope.
We don’t see this decision as giving something away. We see it as giving forward. Giving the gift of life to others who are ready to welcome it with open arms. We know how precious these embryos are. To us, they are not just cells or medical possibilities, they are potential children, with stories waiting to be written. And it brings us joy to think that those stories can still unfold.
Being a part of someone else’s journey to parenthood has been one of the most beautiful and healing experiences in the midst of our grief. Even though Brian is no longer with us, his legacy lives on—not only through our son Eli, but through the lives that will come from the embryos we lovingly chose to share.
We are humbled and honored to be part of a story much bigger than our own.
