The PACC sends emails annually, on your child’s birthday, containing resources for various situations or topics to be aware of with your child’s new age. If you adopted an older child, there may be resources from younger ages that would be helpful for you now from a resource sent for another age. Additionally, it can only benefit you to prepare now for a later stage in your child’s life. We want all of these resources available to you, so please take a moment to browse the topics below. You can also contact the PACC for additional information at any time.
Resources by topic
Attachment
Balancing structure and nurture
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/create-a-balance-of-nurture-structure/
Importance of play
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/whats-your-play-personality/
https://child.tcu.edu/store/healing-families-dvds/playful-interaction/#sthash.CPxzjDqx.dpbs
Attachment Cycle
Book: Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell
Learning in discipline
Book: Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children with Severe Behaviors by Heather T. Forbes
Naming Emotions
https://www.pbs.org/parents/learn-grow/all-ages/emotions-self-awareness
RAD vs Trauma
https://serenitylinkscoaching.com/2016/10/20/rad-vs-developmental-trauma/
Book: Wounded Children, Healing Homes by Jayne Schooler
Self-esteem
https://drrobynsilverman.com/how-to-build-self-esteem-in-kids-who-were-adopted-or-fostered-with-dr-sue-cornbluth/
https://www.bcadoption.com/resources/articles/self-esteem-children-color
Grief and loss
https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2016/03/adoption-advocate-no-93
When parents don’t attach
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/parents-fail-attach-adopted-child/?utm_source=Creating+a+Family&utm_campaign=1185b1f9e3-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_02_03&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_70335ef345-1185b1f9e3-27345717
Connecting with pre-teens
https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/Patients-Families/Health-Library/HealthDocNew/Connecting-With-Your-Preteen
Secure attachment
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?article=creating-a-secure-attachment-in-the-adopted-child
Self-esteem/positive self-worth
https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2020/11/adoption-advocate-no-149
Book: Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self-Â By: David M. Brodzinsky, Robin Marantz Henig
Discipline with teens
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/setting-limits-discipline-adopted-teens/
Book: Whole Brain Discipline by Dr. Daniel Seigel
Connecting with teens
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/4-powerful-ways-to-love-your-teens-and-help-them-like-you-back-maybe/
Attachment with teens
https://pactadopt.medium.com/laughter-attachment-and-adopting-older-kids-612c52c50747
Book: The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively by Gary Chapman
Voices of adult adoptees
https://consideringadoption.com/adopted/adoptee-support/adoptee-blogs/
Attachment with adult children
https://nobelcoaching.com/supporting-childrens-transition-to-adulthood/
Openness
This section isn’t just for domestic adoption. You may not have information on your child’s international biological family but that doesn’t mean you won’t encounter many of these themes with your child as they get older and have questions about where they come from.
Telling their adoption story from birth
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption/adoptionsuggestedbooks/books-kids-talking-kids-birthparents/
Your child’s difficult story
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/talking-difficult-parts-adopted-childs-history/
Book: Telling the Truth to your Adopted Child by Jayne Schooler
Lifebooks
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/creating-attachment-adopted-kids-lifebooks/
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption/adoptionsuggestedbooks/books-kids-talking-kids-birthparents/
Birth Siblings
https://www.cradle.org/blog/adoption-and-birth-siblings-advice-parents
https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about-adoption/when-how-to-tell-child-she-has-birth-siblings/
Talking about adoption
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/talking-with-young-children-about-adoption-and-birth-parents/
Curious and independent
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/talking-with-young-children-about-adoption-and-birth-parents/
Engage your child’s background
https://consideringadoption.com/helpful-hints-for-homeland-tours/
Identity development in closed adoptions
https://lavenderluz.com/no-birth-parent-information/
Telling your child their full story
http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2019/11/adoption-advocate-no-137
Social media birth family interactions
https://adoptionsupport.org/dear-ellen-navigating-teens-online-search-and-reunion-process/
Webinar: https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-in-the-age-of-facebook-twitter-and-the-internet/
Birth parent searching
https://consideringadoption.com/adopted/search-and-reunion/preparing-for-an-adoption-search-and-reunion
https://adoptioncouncil.org/publications/adoption-advocate-no-90/
Developing identity
https://adoptionsupport.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/6-Questions-Every-Adopted-Teen-Wants-Answered.pdf
DNA tests
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-best-reads/2017/11/30/genetic-ancestry-dna-testing-connects-adoptees-birth-parents-what-happens-next/702738001/
https://www.cradle.org/blog/how-dna-testing-kits-are-changing-search-and-reunion
Managing birth parent relationships
Video: https://www.angelatucker.com/documentaryfilms
Thinking about adoption
https://adoptionsupport.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/06-Talking-with-Children-Teen-Years.pdf
Navigating openness
https://adoptionsupport.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Birthparents-On-Their-Mind.pdf
Birth siblings
https://consideringadoption.com/adopted/adoptee-relationships/birth-sibling-relationships/
Access to birth records
https://nightlight.org/2018/04/searching-personal-journey-searching-birth-parents/
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/infoaccessap.pdf
Trauma Impacts
These resources are not specific to children adopted at an older age. Even if you adopted a child as an infant, we know their in utero environment and experience can also have lasting impacts on their emotional and behavioral development. Review these resources below no matter what age or location your child was adopted.
Discipline vs punishment
https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/for-educators/classroom-management/the-difference-between-discipline-and-punishment
Impacts of trauma
Books: Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents by Deborah Gray and Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best
Science of trauma
Book: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child’s Psychiatrist’s Notebook – What traumatized children can teach us about loss, love, and healing by Dr. Bruce Perry
Food Issues
https://nightlight.org/2010/12/nutrition-and-the-internationally-adopted-child-sensory-and-food-issues/#more-2676
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/hoarding-overeating-food-obsessions-adopted-foster-kids/
Sexual abuse and body safety
https://www.thechildrensbookreview.com/weblog/2018/09/5-books-for-teaching-your-kids-about-body-safety-and-consent.html
https://www.nsvrc.org/preventing-child-sexual-abuse-resources
Learning struggles
https://blog.edmentum.com/parent%E2%80%99s-guide-special-education-and-iep-process
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption/adoptionsuggestedbooks/add-learning-differences/
Classrooms and trauma
https://www.weareteachers.com/10-things-about-childhood-trauma-every-teacher-needs-to-know/
http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2014/09/adoption-advocate-no-75
Healing from trauma
Book: Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0963648004/?tag=tapebook01-20
Podcast: https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/helping-children-heal-from-past-trauma-and-loss/
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
https://burkefoundation.org/what-drives-us/adverse-childhood-experiences-aces/
Seeing beyond behavior
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/child-trauma/
Depression and mental health
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adopted-teens-likely-kill/
Let’s talk about sex
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/sexual-development-in-adopted-children/
Substance use and trauma
https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/populations-at-risk/trauma-and-substance-abuse
Raising teenagers
Book: Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years by Katie Naftzger
Book: Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel
Mental health
https://www.swiftriver.com/adoption-mental-health-issues/
Developmental milestones
https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/teens-tweens/risky-behavior/adhd-driving-tips
Six themes for teens
https://www.holtinternational.org/pas/newsletter/2018/12/05/six-themes-for-the-adopted-adolescent/
Book: Beneath the Mask: For Teen Adoptees, by Debbie Riley
https://adoptionsupport.org/store/teens/
Find your child’s strengths
https://parentandteen.com/helping-teens-become-their-best-selves-building-success-from-strengths/
Child Development
Though these resources below are listed by age, with inaccurate birthdays and developmental delays, you may encounter situations with your child that fit under a different age. Be sure to read over all these topics below for guidance with your child now and in the future.