The PACC sends emails annually, on your child’s birthday, containing resources for various situations or topics to be aware of with your child’s new age. If you adopted an older child, there may be resources from younger ages that would be helpful for you now from a resource sent for another age. Additionally, it can only benefit you to prepare now for a later stage in your child’s life. We want all of these resources available to you, so please take a moment to browse the topics below. You can also contact the PACC for additional information at any time.

 

Post Adoption Connection Center

Heather Sloan, LBSW, Director

[email protected]

254-741-1633

Resources by topic

Attachment
Balancing structure and nurture
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/create-a-balance-of-nurture-structure/
Importance of play
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/whats-your-play-personality/
https://child.tcu.edu/store/healing-families-dvds/playful-interaction/#sthash.CPxzjDqx.dpbs

Attachment Cycle
Book: Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell

Learning in discipline
Book: Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children with Severe Behaviors by Heather T. Forbes

Naming Emotions
https://www.pbs.org/parents/learn-grow/all-ages/emotions-self-awareness

RAD vs Trauma
https://serenitylinkscoaching.com/2016/10/20/rad-vs-developmental-trauma/
Book: Wounded Children, Healing Homes by Jayne Schooler
Self-esteem
https://drrobynsilverman.com/how-to-build-self-esteem-in-kids-who-were-adopted-or-fostered-with-dr-sue-cornbluth/
https://www.bcadoption.com/resources/articles/self-esteem-children-color
Grief and loss
https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2016/03/adoption-advocate-no-93
When parents don’t attach
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/parents-fail-attach-adopted-child/?utm_source=Creating+a+Family&utm_campaign=1185b1f9e3-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_02_03&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_70335ef345-1185b1f9e3-27345717
Connecting with pre-teens
https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/Patients-Families/Health-Library/HealthDocNew/Connecting-With-Your-Preteen
Secure attachment
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?article=creating-a-secure-attachment-in-the-adopted-child
Self-esteem/positive self-worth
https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2020/11/adoption-advocate-no-149
Book: Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self-  By: David M. Brodzinsky, Robin Marantz Henig
Discipline with teens
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/setting-limits-discipline-adopted-teens/
Book: Whole Brain Discipline by Dr. Daniel Seigel
Connecting with teens
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/4-powerful-ways-to-love-your-teens-and-help-them-like-you-back-maybe/
Attachment with teens
https://pactadopt.medium.com/laughter-attachment-and-adopting-older-kids-612c52c50747
Book: The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively by Gary Chapman
Voices of adult adoptees
https://consideringadoption.com/adopted/adoptee-support/adoptee-blogs/
Attachment with adult children
https://nobelcoaching.com/supporting-childrens-transition-to-adulthood/
Openness

This section isn’t just for domestic adoption. You may not have information on your child’s international biological family but that doesn’t mean you won’t encounter many of these themes with your child as they get older and have questions about where they come from.

 

Telling their adoption story from birth
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption/adoptionsuggestedbooks/books-kids-talking-kids-birthparents/
Your child’s difficult story
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/talking-difficult-parts-adopted-childs-history/
Book: Telling the Truth to your Adopted Child by Jayne Schooler
Lifebooks
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/creating-attachment-adopted-kids-lifebooks/
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption/adoptionsuggestedbooks/books-kids-talking-kids-birthparents/
Birth Siblings
https://www.cradle.org/blog/adoption-and-birth-siblings-advice-parents
https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about-adoption/when-how-to-tell-child-she-has-birth-siblings/
Talking about adoption
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/talking-with-young-children-about-adoption-and-birth-parents/
Curious and independent
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/talking-with-young-children-about-adoption-and-birth-parents/
Engage your child’s background
https://consideringadoption.com/helpful-hints-for-homeland-tours/
Identity development in closed adoptions
https://lavenderluz.com/no-birth-parent-information/
Telling your child their full story
http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2019/11/adoption-advocate-no-137
Social media birth family interactions
https://adoptionsupport.org/dear-ellen-navigating-teens-online-search-and-reunion-process/
Webinar: https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-in-the-age-of-facebook-twitter-and-the-internet/
Birth parent searching
https://consideringadoption.com/adopted/search-and-reunion/preparing-for-an-adoption-search-and-reunion
https://adoptioncouncil.org/publications/adoption-advocate-no-90/
Developing identity
https://adoptionsupport.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/6-Questions-Every-Adopted-Teen-Wants-Answered.pdf
DNA tests
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-best-reads/2017/11/30/genetic-ancestry-dna-testing-connects-adoptees-birth-parents-what-happens-next/702738001/
https://www.cradle.org/blog/how-dna-testing-kits-are-changing-search-and-reunion
Managing birth parent relationships
Video: https://www.angelatucker.com/documentaryfilms
Thinking about adoption
https://adoptionsupport.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/06-Talking-with-Children-Teen-Years.pdf
Navigating openness
https://adoptionsupport.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Birthparents-On-Their-Mind.pdf
Birth siblings
https://consideringadoption.com/adopted/adoptee-relationships/birth-sibling-relationships/
Access to birth records
https://nightlight.org/2018/04/searching-personal-journey-searching-birth-parents/
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/infoaccessap.pdf
Trauma Impacts

These resources are not specific to children adopted at an older age. Even if you adopted a child as an infant, we know their in utero environment and experience can also have lasting impacts on their emotional and behavioral development. Review these resources below no matter what age or location your child was adopted.

 

Discipline vs punishment
https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/for-educators/classroom-management/the-difference-between-discipline-and-punishment
Impacts of trauma
Books: Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents by Deborah Gray and Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best
Science of trauma
Book: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child’s Psychiatrist’s Notebook – What traumatized children can teach us about loss, love, and healing by Dr. Bruce Perry
Food Issues
https://nightlight.org/2010/12/nutrition-and-the-internationally-adopted-child-sensory-and-food-issues/#more-2676
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/hoarding-overeating-food-obsessions-adopted-foster-kids/
Sexual abuse and body safety
https://www.thechildrensbookreview.com/weblog/2018/09/5-books-for-teaching-your-kids-about-body-safety-and-consent.html
https://www.nsvrc.org/preventing-child-sexual-abuse-resources
Learning struggles
https://blog.edmentum.com/parent%E2%80%99s-guide-special-education-and-iep-process
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption/adoptionsuggestedbooks/add-learning-differences/
Classrooms and trauma
https://www.weareteachers.com/10-things-about-childhood-trauma-every-teacher-needs-to-know/
http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2014/09/adoption-advocate-no-75
Healing from trauma
Book: Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0963648004/?tag=tapebook01-20
Podcast: https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/helping-children-heal-from-past-trauma-and-loss/
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
https://burkefoundation.org/what-drives-us/adverse-childhood-experiences-aces/
Seeing beyond behavior
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/child-trauma/
Depression and mental health
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adopted-teens-likely-kill/
Let’s talk about sex
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/sexual-development-in-adopted-children/
Substance use and trauma
https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/populations-at-risk/trauma-and-substance-abuse
Raising teenagers
Book: Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years by Katie Naftzger
Book: Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel
Mental health
https://www.swiftriver.com/adoption-mental-health-issues/
Developmental milestones
https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/teens-tweens/risky-behavior/adhd-driving-tips
Six themes for teens
https://www.holtinternational.org/pas/newsletter/2018/12/05/six-themes-for-the-adopted-adolescent/
Book: Beneath the Mask: For Teen Adoptees, by Debbie Riley
https://adoptionsupport.org/store/teens/
Find your child’s strengths
https://parentandteen.com/helping-teens-become-their-best-selves-building-success-from-strengths/
Child Development

Though these resources below are listed by age, with inaccurate birthdays and developmental delays, you may encounter situations with your child that fit under a different age. Be sure to read over all these topics below for guidance with your child now and in the future.

 

Age 1 – Rapid brain development
 https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/infants.html
Age 2 – Curious and independent
https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/bothersome-behaviors/temper-tantrums/toddler-tantrums
Age 3 – Communication and expectations
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/using-time-in-instead-of-time-out/
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/keys-to-an-effective-time-in/
Age 4 – Teach correct behavior
https://www.international-adoption-facts-and-information.com/positive-reinforcement-parenting.html
Age 5 – Independence
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-5yr.html
Age 6 – Lifebooks
https://nightlight.org/2018/12/creating-a-life-book-for-you-adoptive-foster-child/
Age 7 – Control and manipulation
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/how-do-i-handle-manipulation-control/
Age 8 – Earning independence
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/fostering-healthy-independence/
Age 9 – Nutrition
http://thefeedingdoctor.com/resources/
Age 10 – Anxiety
https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/
Book: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Age 11 – Growing independence and trust
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-blog/9-things-adoptive-parents-must-do-before-age-13/
https://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/tweens/tweens-preteens
Age 12 – Building trust in independence
Book: Pieces of Me: Who Do I Want to Be? Voices for and by Adopted Teens By: Robert L. Ballard
Age 13 – Connecting with adopted peers
Video: https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adopted-teens-talk-about-adoption-family-identity/
Book: Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide (It Happened to Me)
Age 14 – Launching
Podcast: https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/parenting-adopted-teens-and-tweens/
Age 15 – Parenting teens
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/parent-teenager/
Age 16 – Between childhood and adulthood
https://keepconnected.searchinstitute.org/understanding-ages-and-stages/ages-15-18/
Age 17 – Balancing privacy
https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/riding-the-waves-of-the-teen-years/teens-privacy-balance-key/
Age 18 – Resources for your adult child
Book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students: Succeeding in College… and in life by Stephen R. Covey
Book: Pieces of Me: Who do I Want to Be. Voices for and by adopted teens edited by Robert L. Ballard
Book: Find a Stranger, Say Goodbye by Lois Lowry
Book: Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton
Book: Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up by Nancy Newton Verrier
Additional Topics
Self-regulation
https://childmind.org/article/can-help-kids-self-regulation/
Sensory Processing Disorder
https://www.sensorysmarts.com/signs_of_spd.html
Books: The Out of Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder by Kranowitz and Miller and Everyday Games for Sensory Processing Disorder
Lying
https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/adoption/parenting-adopted-children/common-challenges/why-your-adopted-child-may-be-prone-lying
https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-deal-with-lying-in-children-and-teens/
Substance exposure
Book: The Mystery of Risk: Drugs, Alcohol, Pregnancy, and the Vulnerable Child by Ira J. Chasnoff, MD
Book: Damaged Angels: An Adoptive Mother’s Struggle to Understand the Tragic Toll of Alcohol in Pregnancy by Bonnie Buxton
Book: Understanding Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder: A Guide to FASD for Parents, Carers and Professionals by Maria Catterick and Liam Curran
Socialization
Book: The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults, 2013 by Elizabeth A. Laugeson, Psy.D.
Medication and Diagnoses
http://www.chcs.org/media/CMCUeducationalbooklet572010pdf.pdf
https://www.americanbar.org/groups/public_interest/child_law/resources/child_law_practiceonline/child_law_practice/vol_31/Feb12/psychotropic_medicationandchildreninfostercaretipsforadvocatesan/
Discipline
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/the-ideal-response-for-parents/
https://empoweredtoconnect.org/resources/responding-to-aggressive-and-violent-behavior/
Social media and internet safety
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/management/workforce/socialmedia/safety/
Adopted teens and dating
https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about-adoption/teens-and-dating/
Adoption documents
https://mljadoptions.com/blog/5-reasons-re-adopt-internationally-adopted-child-20150812
College preparation
https://adoptionsupport.org/general/college-choices-adopted-teens/
Building resiliency
https://parentandteen.com/building-resilience-in-teens/
Racial Identity Development
Stages of development
https://www.uua.org/files/documents/derman-sparkslouise/1206_233_identity_stages.pdf
Book: Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib by Jaiya John
Building a positive narrative
https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-blog/moving-from-racial-awareness-to-racial-identity/
Book: Does Anybody Else Look Like Me? By Donna Jackson Nakazawa
Racism in school
https://www.thoughtco.com/how-racism-affects-public-school-minorities-4025361
https://www.kickboardforschools.com/diversity-equity/6-ways-to-prevent-racism-in-schools/
https://nightlight.org/2020/08/talking-kids-about-racism/
Role models for racial identity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZniOuoREU
Book: Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Dr Beverly Tatum
Video: Beverly Daniel Tatum: Why Are All of the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? Video recorded at Chicago Humanities Festival, June 2018
Racial role models
Book: In their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories by Rita J Simon and Rhonda M. Roorda
 
 
Children’s books to help start conversations about race and culture:
The Keeping Quilt by Patricia Polacco
Little Miss Spider by David Kirk
The Little Snowgirl by Carollyn Croll
A Little Story About a Big Turnip by Tatiana Zunshine
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasra
Over the Moon by Karen Katz
Seeds of Love by Mary Ebejer Peteryl
Three Cheers for Catherine the Great! By Cari Best
Through Moon and Stars and Night Skies by Kristine Wise
I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie Kitze (China adoption)
I Am Latino: The Beauty in Me by Myles and Sandra Pinkney (Latin America)
We Wanted You by Liz Rosenberg (Latin America)
Mommy’s Heart Went POP! by Christina Kyllonen and Peter Greer (Africa)
Africa Is Not A Country by Margy Burns Knight (Africa)
Mishka (2-8) by Adrienne Ehlert Bashista (Eastern Europe/Russia)
Borya and the Burps: An Eastern European Adoption Story by Joan McNamara (Eastern Europe/Russia)
When I Met You by Adrienne Ehlert Bashista (Eastern Europe/Russia)