Snowflakes’ Families Participate in First Ever Study on Embryo Donation

At the American Society of Reproductive Medicine in October 2022, new research project was presented on the Psychosocial Outcomes of Children Born via Embryo Donation. The study participants included Snowflakes Embryo Adoption families, but embryo donation is the preferred terminology in the medical world.

The objective of the study was to assess parents’ perception of the psychosocial adjustment of their children born via embryo donation and their relationships.

The hypothesis of the study were:

Kids born via embryo donation are psychosocially well-adjusted
Parents perceive good relationships with their children born via embryo donation

The conclusion? Families created through embryo donation report favorable:

Parent-child relationship quality
Child behavioral adjustment
Child social/emotional adjustment

Several embryo donation programs gave access to their clients/patients who had children born through embryo donation or adoption, including Snowflakes, the majority of which identified as Christian.

In summary, the report stated there is a high degree of comfort with embryo donation given disclosure rates with minimal regret. Most of the respondents were provided with home study education that explained the benefits of not keeping their embryo donation a secret – especially from their children.

Another positive finding of the research is that embryo donation does not appear to increase the risk of adverse obstetric or fetal outcomes.

Most of these families received education regarding how to tell their children, building relationships with their donor family, and avoiding secrecy. Isn’t it great to have some research to back-up the anecdotal evidence seen over the past 25 years?

Learn more about embryo adoption at www.Snowflakes.org.

John and Tammi Spruill Recognized with Bright Lights Award

The Board of Directors of Nightlight Christian Adoptions established the “Bright Lights Award” which is given in recognition of a commitment to adoption which inspires others to adopt, advocates for adoption, or makes a great sacrifice in adoption. “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

The board would like to recognize John and Tammi Spruill.

John and Tammi founded the “Save the Embryos” adoption grant for Snowflakes families in financial need. they have also donated generously toward embryo adoption awareness efforts. Thank you for your generosity and vision!

Rebekah Booth Honored with Bright Lights Award

The first quarter of 2023 recipient of the Bright Lights award is Rebekah Booth.

Rebekah felt called to cover the fees for a Christian couple in financial need adopting from Eastern Europe. Even though she did not know the family, she gave generously to them. We are deeply grateful for your generosity.

Levi and Katie Moore

The third quarter of 2022 recipients of the Bright Lights award are Levi and Katie Moore.

Levi and Katie have given generously to the Nightlight adoption grant fund, which helps “people who might not otherwise be able to adopt, adopt children who might not otherwise be adopted.”

Ann Herring Honored with Bright Lights Award

The first quarter of 2023 recipient of the Bright Lights award is Ann Herring.

Ann Herring made the largest single donation in Nightlight’s history. We are deeply grateful for your generosity.

An Open Letter to Adoptive Parents from an Adoptee

Dear Adoptive Parents:

I wish you knew…

we cannot just erase or get rid of our past.

No matter how old we get we will still remember parts of our past. Please listen to the stories we do share – even if they seem outrageous – which may include dark traumas and experiences. We know that can be hard on you. We hope you would acknowledge, and be prepared for what we know and remember of our biological family, and the importance these memories are to us. Know there is likely a difference in what we share of our past and what is shared in our paperwork. What we remember and experienced could be missing or a different viewpoint of what is shared in our paperwork – accept the differences and don’t dismiss what we remember and share.

how to gain more help specific to adoption and parenting an adopted child.

If possible, reach out to the adoption agency for help or other adoption competent professionals. Do not dismiss the education required as another hoop to jump through in the adoption process. The education is to help you parent adopted children like me. Do not stop learning how to parent an adopted child after the requirement is met in the process.

how to be more open with us.

Do not hide adoption papers and make copies to share with us. Let us know where the originals are so should we want to travel to our home country, get a passport, or any other legal documents, we have the appropriate paperwork available to us. Do not be threatened by the relationship with our biological family – including extended biological relatives. We are grateful for our adoptive family, but the transition can be hard and letters and pictures of our biological family can help ease this transition.

how difficult transitions are.

Language is hard for us. Be open minded that not all children will learn a new language in the same ways – find what will help your child. The help may not always just be learning new words it may come in the form of speech therapy, dental work, or medical support. Food shock is hard for us. Food tastes different, be patient as we try new foods. Slowly introduce new foods and do not be upset about food waste. To help in the transition to the American diet, incorporate foods from our culture into the menu. Learn what foods are common in our culture and do your best to provide these foods, especially shortly after coming home. Give us the opportunity to shop with you and choose foods to eat. When we share our stomach hurts, or we do not like a food, be aware this could be a mild food allergy and our body is giving signals but we do not understand what they mean. Be our advocate to understand what is happening in our body. School/social shock is hard for us. Our grade level may be lower than our age. Do not compare us to your educational experience or the performance of other children of the same age or grade. We are learning more than academics so praise what we have learned. Help us with our assignments with the understanding that what we think is being asked of us may not be translated well. Be patient and do not discourage us when we misunderstand. Be our advocate at school to ensure our teachers and administrators understand we are going through an adoption transition, which includes not only social and culture differences, but family and personal transitions. We may need additional transitions at school to help us thrive in the school setting. Consider different types of education to meet our needs. For example: a smaller class size, private school, or home school. New cultural environments are hard for us. Educate yourself of our country’s seasons, holidays, and traditions. Do your best to incorporate our country’s seasonal holidays and traditions into American celebrations. Seek out music, television shows, and movies from our culture to share with us. Do not forget special clothing and traditional wear we may or may not bring with us or be purchased when traveling home. When visiting places where our culture is represented, like Disneyland’s Small World ride, we may remember something that could trigger a memory. Be aware these memories may be bad or good. When a memory is triggered please be patient with us even if we cannot communicate why we are being triggered. If you are aware of our triggers, do your best to assure us we are in a safe environment and make sure we able to communicate our feelings freely in that moment.

we still have our own values and beliefs.

Our religion may be different than yours and we may or may not want to convert. Share your religion and beliefs, but allow us have the option to practice our religion without feeling like we are disrespecting our adoptive family. Provide opportunities for us to grow in our passions. Be encouraging of our interests and find ways to let us explore our talents.

how grateful we are of adoption.

Please do not interpret the struggles of the adoption journey as us being ungrateful. We do value and love you for bringing us into and making us a part of your family.

you cannot study enough about my country and me.

Do not stop learning about me, my country, my culture, and my past. Adoption is a never-ending journey for not only you, but me as well.

Sincerely,

An Adult Adoptee

Assisted in writing by Nightlight staff member Alice

Adoption: Layers of Motherhood

This article was originally published on “On the Word” at https://ancamartin.com/

He was abandoned at the gate of the orphanage. It couldn’t have been in plain daylight. The dusk in the air was most likely the rough projection of the dark and light battles on her inside. Battles of love and shame, fear and guilt hurried her hands like the wind hurries the moon away. They had to do it quickly, silently, and carefully. To abandon your helpless, small, newborn kin is illegal and punishable with prison and loss of public reputation.

She was a mother whose soft arms and cajoling eyes struggled to tell her heart to let him go. But let him go she must! He wasn’t what they hoped for in a son. He wasn’t fitting their paradigm and life trajectories. And so, he must go. Away from her kin. Away from her sight and presence. Deep into a place where street eyes don’t go and neighborhood bodies rarely walk. A place that boards orphans and no one knows their real name. A place where silent cries make no real commotion and small breaths warm no one’s cheeks anymore.

I think I know his mother. Or at least some of her. I know she was scared. Scared of her own soul reminding her with every birthday of the small, little boy with missing fingers and an extra toe. Ashamed of her mind’s million reasons why he was not good enough, strong enough, perfect enough, deserving enough of life with her. Broken at the future that will always have his shadow but never his voice. Pained at the ruthless circumstances that ruled her out, killed her hope, darkened her predictions, poisoned her love for him. Weak in the face of pressuring mobs and heartless laws.

And yet, she was courageous enough to slip her baby by death’s knives and sail him down her own river of cemented state orphanage. It wasn’t a Mosaic casket she laid her boy in, but a 2.5 square meters Asian box, built by a civilized society at the gates of a stern, cold world. She was determined to pass him well from her warm, tired bosom to the government’s stiff premises. Compassionate to let her feelings tie him tight in a blanket, with a red note, and the smell of a home on his skin. And hopeful. She must have silently hoped that humanity will not completely abandon him and that a family will gather him into arms of love and compassion. Hopeful that her inner cries would comfort his. Hopeful that his breath would warm someone else’s cheeks.

Motherhood doesn’t stop when the baby leaves our arms or wombs. Once a mother, always a mother. We can hide our eyes or stiffen our hearts: but the baby’s ties tangle us forever. That’s perhaps how I know that, though she abandoned him then, she won’t stop thinking of him today. She took him away from her breath, but his smell still warms her check—reminiscent breezes of her baby’s lips. She separated him from her family but he is still connected to her memories.

Today, this boy is in our family. Adoption is the other way of birthing a child—the undoing of abandonment, the pulling in of the outcast, the family-ing of the parentless, the gathering of the rejected, the loving of the love-less, the connecting with the disconnected. Adoption restores what abandonment rejected. It enriches what rejection depleted. It loves what pain broke down.

My motherhood sees her motherhood. I look at my boy and I see a fleeting shadow of her in him. She remains close to him if only in her dreams. My boy is dressed in layered motherhood and he doesn’t even know it.

I know my motherhood is richer and fuller because she chose to mother him first. I benefit from her hard choice to let her son live. I gained what she lost. I love what she rejected. I mother what she abandoned. I live with the one she parted with. I get to hold his little frame and hear his beautiful giggles. His lips kiss my cheeks and his words whisper sweet loves to me. I hold his hands with missing fingers and see God’s wonderful creation. I am grateful to his first mother who chose life for him in the dusk of an Asian street, at the gate of a cold orphanage, in the struggles of her conflicted, broken heart.

Written by Anca Martin, adoptive mother

Ways Your Family Can Help Vulnerable Children

Most will agree that all children deserve to grow up in a loving and protective family. All children deserve to be fed, to receive an education, clean clothing, shoes and to sleep in a warm and safe bed at night, all basic necessities provided by a family. All children deserve the warmth, love, protection and guidance of a parent or parents. Yes, we agree. As a rule however, most people do not know the number of children worldwide who are parentless or forced to grow up in an institutionalized setting not having access to things we all agree every child should have access to.

It is estimated that there are 147 million orphaned children worldwide who have lost one or both parents. Consider this, 81.5 million Americans about 40 percent have considered adoption. If just 1 in 500 of these adults adopted, every waiting child in foster care would have a permanent family. Seemingly, as with everything else, we become distracted or think someone else will take care of that and we go about our days or we just turn a blind eye and choose to ignore that a child somewhere is suffering. While we look away or get distracted, more children suffer and some die while in institutionalized care. While we look the other way, more children age out of institutionalized care to fend for themselves with little to no education or training and without the support of a family. There are currently 107,000 children eligible for adoption in the U.S. foster care system and every year, about 28,000 children age out of foster care in the U.S. Many who age out are forced into criminalized behavior, such as prostitution and theft, simply to survive. Aging out of the system without preparation and a safety net affects not only the child, but also society at large. Each child that we lose whether through death or talents lost due to criminalization, we lose another potential gift to the world and society loses as a whole. We have a responsibility to these children to care for them, to nurture them and to ensure they grow into loving, educated functioning adults who can contribute to society.

In international adoptions alone, we have seen a dramatic drop. The number of children adopted to U.S. families from other countries peaked at 22,884 in 2004. In the past 18 years, the numbers have consistently dwindled every year and now are just under 2,000 adoptions annually, and continue to drop. Yet despite the decline in adoptions, the number of children in need and the need for adoptive and foster parents continue to rise. What a sad state of affairs for our children. They say a society is judged by how it treats its elders and children. What does that say for us when we sit by and allow so many children to go parentless and without families?

There are vulnerable children suffering worldwide every day. You hear about them in the news, you see them on TV. While many of these children cannot be adopted, there are many who are eligible for adoption in the U.S. and abroad, who are in desperate need of a family.

Whether you are hoping to adopt a younger child considered to be “healthy”, an older child, a sibling group or a child with special needs, there is a child out there waiting for his or her own family to call their own. A child waiting for the love and protection of a family.

If you feel you are being called to adopt, we encourage you to look at our waiting children eligible for adoption on Adoption Bridge. Additionally, many of Nightlight’s intercountry programs are accepting new families such as Burkina Faso, Dominican Republic, Colombia and Albania. Many of our country programs have short wait times for families to be matched with a child, especially if you choose a waiting child. If you wish to pursue adoption from foster care, Nightlight can assist adoptive parents navigate the U.S. foster care system and adoption process. If you are unsure about adoption and want additional information, schedule a free initial telephone conference at your convenience to explore your options, by filling out Nightlight’s online interest form.

If you feel adoption is not the way that your family wants to care for the orphan, there are other ways you can be involved. By volunteering or making a donation. Nightlight is a non-profit organization. Making a tax-deductible donation provides assistance to families adopting and children in need in the U.S. and countries where we serve.

For more information on all adoption options available to families through, please visit our website or contact us.

Am I Pregnant ?

Am I Pregnant? 12 Pregnancy Signs and Symptoms to Look For

Have you been experiencing bodily changes? Do you think you may be pregnant? This can be a puzzling time as it is. To add to the confusion, many pregnancy signs and symptoms can have causes unlinked to pregnancy.

You should know that the early signs of pregnancy tend to differ from one woman to the next. Of course, your best bet is to take a pregnancy test as soon as possible. But paying attention to early symptoms of pregnancy is also important. With that in mind, consider these 12 early signs of pregnancy.

Pregnancy Symptoms Week 1

The American Pregnancy Association (APA) conducted a survey on the first signs of pregnancy. Of the women polled, 29% reported a missed period and 25% reported nausea as the first symptoms of pregnancy. We’ll consider these two first and then focus on 10 additional indicators.

Missed Period. A missed period is often the very first sign a woman has that she may be pregnant. Many women begin seeking answers because they know they’re late for their next period. If you’ve had a missed period of about one week, you might consider this a possible indicator of pregnancy. However, this symptom in itself may not be accurate if you’ve had irregular menstrual cycles.

Nausea/Vomiting. Nausea is quite common in the first trimester and may or may not be accompanied by vomiting. This is known as morning sickness, though it can be experienced later in the day as well. The severity can differ from person to person. It isn’t totally clear what the cause is for morning sickness, but it may be due to hormonal changes.

Other Pregnancy Signs and Symptoms

Tender/Swollen Breasts. In the APA survey cited above, about 17% of women surveyed reported this as the first sign of pregnancy. However, this can occur between four and six weeks into pregnancy. You may experience tingling, aching, and swelling/enlargement of the breast tissue. You may also notice darkening of the areas surrounding the nipples. Once your body adjusts to your new hormonal changes, these feelings should subside.
Light Spotting/Bleeding/Vaginal Discharge. This is known as implantation bleeding and occurs after the fertilized egg attaches to the uterine wall. Implantation bleeding could be mistaken for a menstrual period, but there are some distinct differences. Some of the key differences include a smaller amount, shorter time, lighter color, and absence of clotting.

Cramping and pain. The cramps women experience when pregnant may seem similar to those during PMS. But just as we mentioned above with implantation bleeding, implantation cramps are different. These cramps would be present even after you’ve missed your period. Other pregnancy signs and symptoms include leg cramping and soreness in the lower back.

Headaches are so common that this one can’t be relied upon alone. In this case, you may also be experiencing lightheadedness or dizziness. These symptoms would be due to hormonal changes in your body. You should consider them in conjunction with other pregnancy symptoms you’re experiencing.

Sensitivity to Smell. Though there may be little scientific consensus on this one, it remains a commonly reported symptom. Sensitivity to smell is something that many women report particularly in the early stages of pregnancy. It may also be one of the causes of nausea during this time.

Change of Appetite. Does the Caesar salad you normally love seem a little off-putting? Or does your craving for potato chips and spicy salsa seem out of character? Change of appetite is common as an early sign of pregnancy. Often, the foods you normally desire won’t sound good to you at all. This may also be due to hormonal changes and along with changes in your senses.

Frequent Urination. Having to hop up and run to the bathroom in the middle of the night? Unless you’re hydrating like crazy, that could also be one of the pregnancy signs and symptoms to watch for. Also due to hormonal changes, it’s possible to experience this even before missing your period.

Constipation and Bloating. Speaking of hydration, that’s not a bad idea considering this symptom can be very uncomfortable! If you’ve had fewer than three bowel movements in a given week, you may be dealing with pregnancy constipation. Hormonal changes can be the culprit behind bloating and constipation.

Mood Swings/Fatigue. Mood swings and fatigue are also attributable to hormonal changes. This is because your body is producing a hormone called progesterone. This hormone supports the pregnancy and is responsible for milk production in the breasts as well. As soon as one week after conception, you could experience fatigue due to your body working harder to pump additional blood to support this new life.

Heartburn, or indigestion may affect more women in the second and third trimesters. However, it’s generally considered to stem from your increase in progesterone levels, so don’t rule it out. Especially if it’s not something you normally experience.

Am I Pregnant? Find Out for Sure

If you’ve experienced any of these pregnancy signs and symptoms and want further information, give us a call. You shouldn’t have to go through this time in your life alone. We’re here to help.

Disclaimer: This website and blog does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Content from this website and blog is not intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment. The information provided on this website is intended for general understanding only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice.

Introducing Adoptions from Portugal!

Nightlight Christian Adoptions is happy to announce we are licensed to work in Portugal and are currently accepting applications for families looking to adopt internationally! Most children available are over the age of 7 and there are sibling groups available. There are some children who are healthy but most children available from Portugal have different level of medical needs. We receive files of children periodically that are waiting and these are sent to all agencies licensed to work in Portugal. We are able to match waiting families with these children or advocate for them on AdoptionBridge.org.

In order to adopt from Portugal, you will want to consider the following eligibility criteria:

You should be between the ages of 25 (30 if you are single) to 60 years old. There should be no more than 45 years age difference between the youngest parent and the child to be adopted.
Couples must be living together for 4 years and married for at least 2 years. Single women and men are allowed to adopt as well.

If you are interested in adopting from Portugal, the first step is to inquire with Nightlight to determine if you are eligible. If it is determined that the program is a good fit for you, you will follow these steps.

Fill out an application with Nightlight Christian Adoptions.
Complete an orientation with your program coordinator.
Begin a home study for an international adoption. If you live in one of the 10 states where Nightlight is licensed, you will be required to use us for the home study process. If you live outside of our licensed area, we will let you know which agency is preferred for your home study.
File your I-800A application with United States Citizenship and Immigration Services.
Complete your dossier for Portugal.
Once your dossier is registered with the central authority in Portugal, they will begin looking for an appropriate match. They have regular meetings where a committee looks at the families that are waiting and matches them with the children available. The wait time for a match will vary depending on your openness to age, gender, sibling groups, and special needs.
After you have been matched, you will complete a referral review with Nightlight’s social services team to ensure you are prepared for the placement.
You will then file your I-800 with United States Citizenship and Immigration Services.
When you travel to Portugal, you must prepare to be in country for 6-8 weeks. There will be a 1-week bonding period prior before the child is transferred into your care. With the help of our attorney you will complete the guardianship process and will obtain the US visa for the child.
After you arrive home, you will need to contact an attorney in your State to process a full and final adoption.
Also you will be required to complete post-placement reports and submit them to Nightlight at one month, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months after you arrive home. If you have not finalized your adoption in the 12 months after arriving home, you will be required to continue a post placement visit with your social worker to be submitted to Portugal every 3 months until finalization.

We would love to talk with you more about adoption from Portugal if this sounds like a program that would be right for you! Our Portugal program coordinator is Viktoriia Serediuk-Buz. You can contact her by email at viktoriia@nightlight.org, by phone at (317)875-0058, or you can fill out our Online Inquiry Form and indicate your interest in Portugal and she will contact you.