Why Does Nightlight Require Families to Abstain from Pornography?

It is standard practice for adoption agencies to ask about pornography usage during the home study.  In fact, these questions are part of the SAFE home study questionnaire, and also the Prepare-Enrich questionnaire.  Why is pornography usage relevant to a home study?  And why does Nightlight ask families to abstain from its usage, and to seek counseling if it has been a problem?

Though the research is abundant, the definitive study on pornography is the “Meese report” commissioned by the attorney General and delivered to congress in 1986.  James Dobson, from Focus on the Family, was a key member of this commission.  The pertinent pages are 321-324 (see below).

The findings are:

  1. Pornography causes people to view women as inferior and as objects for men
  2. Pornography is produced by criminal organizations
  3. Pornography usage is associated with violent behavior
  4. The actors in pornography are victims of sex trafficking (see p. 354)
  5. Pornography causes men to misunderstand that “no” means “yes” since this is a common theme
  6. The instance of pornography that is non-violent and non-degrading is a very small percentage of the material produced

https://epublications.marquette.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2396&context=lnq

The home study process is an invitation to families to come to the healthiest place possible, as they prepare to take in an adopted child.

Daniel Nehrbass, President

 

Does Nightlight Support Parent’s Rights?

Many of our Christian clients are advocates of the “parent’s rights” movement, and Nightlight supports them.

The Parent’s Rights movement is the notion that parents, rather than the State, should be in control of how parents raise their children.  The issue is not actually unique to Christians, and it has created some odd coalitions of very conservative and very liberal people at times.

Here are examples of some of the issues behind the Parent’s Rights movement, and how they affect our home study requirements:

  1. We are supportive home school, and vouchers for it
  2. While we encourage vaccination, we are supportive of families who choose not to vaccinate.
  3. While we ask for proof of medical insurance, we are supportive of families who opt for programs like Medi-share or alternatives to medical insurance
  4. While we prohibit foster parents from spanking, and we offer all families education on alternatives to spanking, we do not require parents to promise that they will not spank children after adoption
  5. We support parents having sole authority over education and health care for their children, and to have full disclosure about all health care their children seek or receive

Nightlight is here to support parents in their beautiful responsibility of “training up a child.”

Daniel Nehrbass, President

Nightlight Establishes “Bright Lights Award”

The Board of Directors of Nightlight Christian Adoptions established the “Bright Lights Award” which is given in recognition of a commitment to adoption which inspires others to adopt, advocates for adoption, or makes a great sacrifice in adoption. “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

The first recipients of the Bright Lights award are Jeff and Melissa Smith.

In February, 2018, Nightlight accepted about 20 families from an agency which was losing accreditation.  Their adoption from Malawi involved a sacrifice that no one predicted.  The visa was not granted as soon as expected, so Melissa lived in Malawi for 9 months while her husband and three children were in the US (but they traveled to visit multiple times).   Melissa posted this online:

What a year. What a hard, beautiful year.

2019 was a year of beauty, pain, and triumph. Leaning into God when everything around seemed to crumble. Holding on to His faithfulness when I looked around and couldn’t see clearly.

We stepped out following God’s call in our families lives, and it all seemed to unfurl into chaos. Countless times I asked myself “How can this be God’s plan?”

I see it. I see God’s plan. We’re almost completely through this trial, this season, this valley. And when I encounter the next, I will hold to this time and remember God’s faithfulness.

So often, when people asked me how I can still have faith (a question I was/ am frequently asked) my answer is simple: holding onto God’s character. I don’t know God’s plan, but I KNOW God. He is a loving, gracious God who has a perfect will and plan.

I don’t know if you’re waiting on God for what may feel like the impossible. If you feel like you stepped out in faith following His call and then what seems like all hell broke loose. He’s there, I promise. He’s shaping and in the hard. When all seems chaotic He is the calm.

Happy New Year! I hope this coming year has less valleys and more peaks and a deeper love for others and Jesus!

The Smiths were successful in bringing home two beautiful daughters, and their commitment to adoption is an inspiration to us.

Nightlight’s History

Founding
The Evangelical Welfare Agency (EWA) was incorporated on May 1, 1963, but was originally licensed as a non-profit organization in 1959. The organization was founded by a group of churches belonging to the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) who determined that there was a need to find Christian homes for babies abandoned due to unplanned pregnancy. The first office was opened in Whittier, CA. Nightlight maintains its affiliation with the NAE to this day (our Articles of Incorporation designate the NAE as the beneficiary of our assets upon our dissolution).

Domestic Adoption
James and Shirley Dobson adopted their son Ryan through EWA and have maintained a special relationship with our organization since then, as has Focus on the Family. In 1973, the name was changed to Family Ministries, and then in 1981 to Christian Adoption and Family Services (CAFS). Domestic adoption was, and continues to be a central program for Nightlight. During this era, our organization placed over 1500 infants in Southern California. Prior to Roe v. Wade being decided in 1973, an average of 8% of pregnancies resulted in adoption. But since that date, only 1% of pregnancies now result in adoption. Consequently, the mission of our organization had to change from focusing exclusively on domestic adoption. In this era, CAFS assisted with adoptions from the Cambodian Air Lift.

International Adoption
Ron Stoddart had a thriving domestic adoption law practice, but with the fall of the Iron Curtain in 1989, Ron knew that there must be an opportunity for adoption from Russia. So in 1992 Ron began facilitating adoptions from the former Soviet Union. To support this international effort, he created the Nightlight Foundation. The word Nightlight connotes a warm, safe home for children. In 1994 Ron was named Executive Director of CAFS, and subsequently merged his law practice and international foundation with our organization. The name was changed in 2000 to Nightlight Christian Adoptions. Nearly 1000 children were adopted from Russia through Nightlight during this era with a strong focus on school age children. The majority were adopted by families in Southern California, who reunited each summer at our picnic. Some of these picnics had several hundred children in attendance.

Orphan Host Program and Humanitarian Aid
To assist with international adoption, Ron began Detsky Dom Partners (Russian for Children’s Home) which became a separate non-profit organization in 2009. Detsky Dom Partners raised money for and organized orphan host tours. These were primarily from Russia but later from Kyrgyzstan, Ukraine, Colombia, Taiwan, and China. It occurred to Ron that people would adopt older children if they could only see them. But getting a large group of adopting parents to go to Russia would be difficult….easier to bring the kids to the US! With that vision, the concept of orphan host programs was born, and later turned into a global phenomenon and gave birth to other organizations and agencies doing the same. The first tour was in 1995 and over the subsequent twenty-five years, Nightlight has brought 600 kids on tours: most of whom got adopted. Most of the host programs included well-rehearsed dance and song routines with children in traditional cultural costumes. In 2011, Detsky Dom Partners changed its name to Every Child has a Name (ECHAN), in order to reflect the more global reach of our organization. ECHAN continues to be active with its own board of directors. The organization hosts an annual Monte Carlo Night as its primary fundraiser to support orphan host programs with Nightlight.
One of the couples who watched the host kids perform (the Nixons, from Southern California) were inspired to give a tithe of their estate to Nightlight in their will. We received this gift in 2015 and were able to purchase our California building which put us in a much better financial position as owners rather than renters. The host program enabled Nightlight to form strong partnerships with churches, especially Calvary Chapel of Anaheim.
In 2011 we also began Orphan Galaxy, a humanitarian fund for orphanage support, anti-trafficking efforts, vocational training, and adoption scholarships. This fund is primarily comprised of monthly $25 donors.

Snowflakes®
In 1997, John & Marlene Strege (who Ron Stoddart knew from his work with youth at a local church) were interested in adopting. They had learned that frozen embryos were being donated anonymously through clinics, but they were not comfortable with the impersonal approach to transferring the parental rights of unborn babies. They asked Ron if it was possible to “adopt” embryos. As Nightlight has proven over the years, the question wasn’t whether or not it could be done, but if this is God’s plan, how can we do it. Ron wondered, “What do people do with their left over embryos from IVF? Do you think we could get them to donate them for adoption?” The Streges reached out to Dr. Dobson at Focus on the Family about the ethical and biblical allowance for embryo adoption. Ron had committed to applying social work best-practice to embryo donation, which to that point had always been anonymous. This best practice includes a home study, matching by social workers, and openness afterward. The biggest hurdle, of course, would be getting people to donate. To this point, most clinics in the nation were lucky to have a handful of embryos available. In partnership with Focus on the Family radio broadcasts, Nightlight was able to get hundreds, and later thousands of families to donate embryos. So, where did the name “Snowflakes” come from? At Christmas time in 1997, Ron and his wife had dinner with John & Marlene Strege at the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego. During dinner, the Lamb’s Players gave a soliloquy about the beauty of snowflakes and how they were frozen, unique, tiny and a gift from God. (We later trademarked the name Snowflakes in 2007.) In 2002 pro-life groups asked President George Bush to halt funding of embryonic stem cell research, and Nightlight was named as a plaintiff in a lawsuit against the federal government over this issue. Mr. Bush took the extra step of creating the Embryo Adoption Awareness Grant. Nightlight has received this grant every year since its inception. President Bush hosted three birthday parties at the White House for Snowflakes babies, and mentions Nightlight twice in his autobiography.

Adoption Bridge
In 2013 Nightlight created Adoption Bridge as the only crowd-funding site with no overhead fee, and to also offer “Dear Birthmother” profiles and Waiting Child profiles. Since that time, the site has raised over $300,000 in adoption funding, featured nearly a thousand waiting children, and twenty thousand users, with over 6000 visits per month.

Mergers
In 2008 Laura Beauvais approached Ron Stoddart about Nightlight merging with Carolina Hope Adoptions, which had a history of work in Guatemala, Cambodia, and Vietnam. This greatly increased the reach of our domestic program as we opened our SC office. In 2011 A Helping Hand Adoption found itself in sudden need of an executive director, so Ron asked Lisa Prather (who was working in the SC office) if she would help lead the agency in KY. We formally merged with AHH in 2014 after transferring the license to work in China, which became Nightlight’s largest international program. In 2015 Mike and Debbie Nomura approached Nightlight about a merger of Heritage Family Services (OK), followed by Frank Block from Love Basket in 2016, Cathy Sones from Generations Adoptions (TX) in 2017, and Michele Jackson from MLJ Adoptions (IN) in 2020. We also acquired the staff from Children’s Hope International (MO) in 2019, which strengthened our India program. We acquired the files and some assets from Embraced by Grace (FL) in 2019 and Life for Kids (FL) in 2020, which helped establish our Florida office. When asked why agencies approach Nightlight about merger, one executive director said, “the organization’s business savvy and risk tolerance.” We have also acquired a reputation among the adoption agency community as “open source” and non-competitive. Nearly all of the mergers were the result of personal relationships built in the National Christian Adoption Fellowship, a group of about a dozen agencies founded in 2009. The mergers have also been the result of an overall decline in the field of adoption, where consolidation makes sense for an economy of scale, and Nightlight stands out as having a full diversity of services to offer clients and provide for economic stability.

Foster Care
In 2012 Daniel Nehrbass joined Nightlight as the Executive director of the California office of Nightlight and Ron Stoddart focused on the Colorado office. Ron retired in 2013 and Daniel became Nightlight’s President. Ron later joined Nightlight’s Board of Directors. In 2012, Russia ceased intercountry adoption with the United States, forcing Nightlight to plan for a future of diverse services. In addition to a dozen other countries, Daniel made the decision to open international programs in Colombia and Haiti, which became central to our International adoption program. But the board of directors also decided to amend our mission to include foster care. We opened a foster program first in Colorado in 2013, and today each office has a foster program in the works. Nightlight added other initiatives to make the client experience more stable in the midst of a volatile field, such as “portability” of their case from one type of adoption to the next, which includes financial incentive to move to the program that will be most successful. In 2019 the Colorado accepted a challenge from the state to innovate a new type of foster placement called Homes for Hope, where permanent foster family resides in a home provided to them, and accepts emergency placements supervised by Nightlight. This partnership characterizes our organization’s commitment to “find the Yes,” boldly believing that all problems are surmountable.

Info for Kids adopted from Russia

We receive several questions from people adopted from Russia, especially as they become adults.

  1. I would like to travel to Russia.  Am I still a Russian citizen?
    1. You are still a Russian citizen unless you have formally renounced your Russian citizenship by sending your Russian passport to a Russian consulate in the US, and they have confirmed that your citizenship has been revoked.
    2. The Russian government is currently not issuing visas to individuals with U.S. Passports who are Russian citizens, but require them to travel to Russia on a Russian Passport
    3. If you are male, and you have not renounced your citizenship in the manner above, it is possible the Russian military can conscript you to service upon entry to the country
    4. You may travel to Russia on your valid Russian passport if it is still in your possession. No visa is required.  But you will need your US passport to return to the US.
    5. If you do not have your Russian passport, or it has expired, you will have to renew it with the Russian consulate.
    6. You are not able to travel to Russia on a US Passport unless you have renounced your citizenship in the manner above.
  2. I would like to find my birth family in Russia.  May we suggest you contact an expert named Tony Carruthers
  3. I have money in a bank account in Russia.  Can I get access to it?  We may be able to help.  email [email protected]

We also recommend contacting David Schunk, who consults with adoptees about getting Russian records.

https://russianadoptees.wordpress.com/contact/

 

 

Steps to Take if Your Agency Loses Accreditation

 

Since January, 2018, on average, an international adoption agency has lost accreditation every two weeks.  In fact, there were 168 accredited adoption agencies beginning in 2018, and today there are only 112.  The main reason agencies are losing accreditation regards disputes with the accrediting entity about how to interpret regulations.

If your agency loses accreditation, we recommend the following steps:

  1. File a complaint with the US State Department’s Office of Children’s Issues if you suspect the accrediting entity has acted unfairly toward your adoption agency.  You can contact them at [email protected]
  2. Look for a new accredited adoption agency to represent you as a Primary Provider. You can see the list of possibilities here.
    1. Please be advised that fees you paid to your prior agency are not likely to transfer to the new agency. The fees you paid were for services rendered, and your agency did provide services.  It is possible that your new agency will provide a courtesy waiver of some fees.
    2. Also please be advised that if your agency goes out of business, which is often the case, you are not likely to recover any of the documents for your case because there will not be any employees to help you. So you should gather all the documents you can immediately.
  3. If you are unable to find a Primary Provider after a diligent effort, notify [email protected] that you have not been able to find an agency.
  4. Consider joining a class action lawsuit with other families who have been affected. If you would like your name on a list of possible families affected, email [email protected]  Keep in mind that in order to join a suit, you must have suffered a loss such as
    1. Inability for you to complete your case
    2. Loss of documents
    3. Loss of fees

Home Study Skills Workshop

 

Thank you for registering for our Home Study Skills Workshop.

The fee for this workshop is $95, and can be paid bellow:


Training For Adoption Home Study

Oklahoma’s Leading Source of Adoption Home Study Training for 21 years

Sponsored by the Oklahoma office of Nightlight Christian Adoptions, A Non-profit Adoption Agency

Adoption Home Study Skills Workshop

Doing Home Studies & Understanding Adoption Trends

Who Should Attend:

  • Professionals: LCSWs, LPCs, LMFTs: Clergy and others with a Master’s Degree in human services who wants to become qualified to conduct adoption home study assessments.
  • Professionals who need to update the training required by law

(Note: Persons with only a Bachelor’s Degree are not eligible by law to do adoption studies unless employed by a licensed adoption agency.)

Meet the Legal Requirements to do Adoption Home Study Assessments

Oklahoma law mandates professionals in private practice and ministers doing adoptive home studies must “complete at least once every three (3) years a three-hour course in home study preparation and adoption trends. . .”

Description:  Participants in this workshop will learn:

  • The 4 kinds of Adoption Home Studies
  • The 7 statutory tasks of a home study provider
  • The 4 types of background checks – when & how to do them
  • The elements of adoption home study assessments
  • Criteria for approving or disapproving an adoptive family
  • The 5 kinds of documents required by the Court
  • Trends in adoption practice

CEU’s:           3 Hours – Approved for LCSW, with 1 hr Ethics, Approval Pending for LPC and LMFT

Fee:                            $ 95.00 –  Pre-registration Required

(Includes Power Point and sample forms sent by email)

Racial Reconciliation and Adoption

 

Reconciliation is at the center of the gospel. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 says, “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.”

Jesus Christ was sent to this world to reconcile our sinful selves to God and call us to the ministry of reconciliation. Reconciliation means “to restore to friendship or harmony.” Christ first restored our relationship and harmony with God and now offers this same act as a ministry for us to participate in with others. Reconciliation is the very act of adoption – we were brought into God’s family after our brokenness was restored through Christ.

We see much division across our nation due to differences in perspectives and experiences. This spans across values, politics, faith, and racial issues, just to name a few. God calls us to walk in harmony with others and seek reconciliation. He calls us to see value in those that may look, act, or believe differently than us and not to separate ourselves. One of those areas is racial reconciliation, which has come to the forefront of our nation’s attention. For transracial adoptive families, you have been confronted with many feelings, fears, and concerns as racial tensions now confront us. As a world, we are challenged to consider what it means to seek harmony when any of our community is hurting and in need. What should reconciliation look like?

The process of reconciliation should first look like opening and evaluating your heart, mind, emotions, and actions, through guidance by the Holy Spirit. Laying yourself before God and praying along with David in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” As God reveals sin in our thoughts, words, and deeds, we can ask Him first for forgiveness and then turn to seek forgiveness and harmony from any that we have hurt. How might this look in a racial reconciliation context? We can allow God to examine our hearts for any judgments, prejudices, or racist thoughts, words, or deeds.

Being surrounded by our culture that has been permeated with racism, these thoughts can creep inside us, often without our realization. God can reveal these to us through prayer, reading books that address racism, listening to the voices of people of color around us, and examining our hearts. When we as individuals can do this, it plays into the greater movement of our society seeking harmony and restoration with others that have been wronged. We can seek harmony with our brothers and sisters of color around us and speak to others through our ministry of reconciliation.

Where does adoption fit into the narrative of racial reconciliation? Adoption can move us in the right direction, but this is done through changes in our hearts: not simply through the act of adoption. Transracial adoption does not fix underlying problems. A family adopting a child of a different race or ethnicity into their family will not automatically rid them or others of prejudice. When the adoptive parents open their hearts to reconciliation as they consider adopting a child of another race, He can show you any places of racial prejudice inside you to rid from your heart and mind, as discussed above. Adopting a child from another race or culture will naturally bring up conversations and comments from friends and family that will allow you an opportunity to speak the truth and confront any of their prejudicial beliefs, whether conscious or subconscious. These conversations allow others to learn about someone else’s experience that differs from their own and challenges them to understand. These are changes that can come from our experiences in adoption and can impact the greater sins of racism around us if you are mindful to do so.

Recognizing the joys and true challenges of bringing a child from another race into your home is imperative. Our desire at Nightlight is to help guide our adoptive families in this journey through education and support. We are growing the resources we have available to transracial adoptive families and hope you keep checking back on the blog for more information in parenting your adopted child.

–Heather McAnear Sloan, Director of Post Adoption Connection Center

Talking with Kids About Racism

2020 will likely be remembered for many things. We have faced challenges in the forms of a pandemic, national calls to quarantine, businesses and schools shutting down, and lives being lost. We have also experienced protests erupting across our great nation due to an outcry for justice and an end to racism. The topic of racism is not only trending in many headlines and in bestselling books, but is also being discussed in our communities, churches, and around our dinner tables.

For our adoptive parents and especially for those parenting children of color, the discussions you may be navigating with your child in this season about race and racism may be more difficult than those you’ve faced in the past. It is heartbreaking to see children hear about, experience, or digest what racism is and the brokenness, division, and pain associated with it. However, this is a topic that our children will inevitably be faced with. It is important that we engage the conversation with them and set a precedent of talking openly and honestly about the issue.

Our desire is to help encourage, support, and equip you to talk about race and the difficult topic of racism in your home. These topics can be uncomfortable and challenging. Many parents are hesitant to discuss them because they are fearful of saying the wrong thing. However, if we want to raise the next generation in a way that will empower them to achieve greater racial equity and unity, then it’s critical to lay the groundwork in engaging in these discussions. If you’re raising a child of color, it is crucial that you create a safe environment in your home for these conversations to be had. Latosha Morrison, the creator of the organization, Be the Bridge, has stated that “you can’t fix something that you can’t acknowledge.” By teaching our youth to recognize unfair treatment or inequality, then we can also teach them to stand up for themselves and others.

Here are some recommendations and resources for transracial adoptive parents that we hope will help empower you to have deeper, more beneficial discussions with your kids about race and racism:

1)      Build a solid foundation.  Children have a deep desire to know their history. It is our responsibility as their parents to not only discuss issues related to race but to instill a sense of pride in our child regarding their rich heritage. What an honor it is to be able to communicate to a child that they are created by a loving God who made them in His image, exactly as they are. If you have been given the honor of a child of color then you have the responsibility to help them develop a strong and enriched racial identity. You can do this by teaching them to be proud of the color of their skin, the texture of their hair, and the richness of their culture. Affirm who they are and the unique gifts that they’ve been given. Instilling a positive racial identity is something that takes time, effort, and intention. Children face new insecurities and questions about their identity at each stage of their development. Helping them to feel valued, worthy, special, and confident in who they are is so worth every second of thought and action you can put into it!

NACAC’s Seven Tasks for Parents: Developing Positive Racial Identity has some great tips for how to do this well, and The Conscious Kid’s website is dedicated to promoting healthy racial identity development in youth.

2)      Celebrate your child’s racial/ethnic heritage and history. What an honor it is to not only get to celebrate who your child is, but also to celebrate their culture and the rich history of those that came before them! Adoptive parents with children of any race that is different from their own should be intentional about embracing their child’s racial and cultural community. Introduce them to books, TV shows, and toys that include characters and historical figures of their race. Listen to music, eat foods, and participate in celebrations that are well known in their culture. Hang beautiful art that reflects people that look like them in your home. Find activities in the community where your child can interact with other kids who look like him or her.

3)      Outsource.  Seek out men or women of color who are willing to speak into your life and your son or daughter’s life. If you are not a person of color yourself, then your child’s lived experience is something that you won’t be able to fully share with them. You won’t know what it’s like to be a minority in this country or what it feels like to be stereotyped or treated differently due to your skin color. It’s okay if you don’t know how to answer every question that your child has as it relates to race. It will be a gift to you and your child to have someone else who can offer their perspective, experience, and support.

4)      Talk about the hard things. While there is much to celebrate in embracing your child’s race and culture within your home, it is critical to understand the challenges that come with raising a child of color in a society where racism exists. The history of racism in this country is undoubtedly difficult to discuss. However, the fact that prejudice, discrimination, and racial inequality still exist and that racial tension in this country has recently received so much national attention, has brought about increasingly heavy and painful conversations as children of color try to make sense of it all. Creating a safe space for your child to talk and share about difficult issues related to race and racism is so very important. NCFA recently released a wonderful publication, called Proactive Engagement: The Adoptive Parent’s Responsibility When Parenting a Child of a Different Race. It addresses the responsibility of discussing issues surrounding race and racism with children, and the complexities adoptive parents face trying to protect their children from racism whenever possible, while at the same time preparing them for the racism that they will inevitably face. We highly recommend referencing this article as it also includes wonderful resources and advice about what’s appropriate to discuss and share according to the age and developmental stage of the child.

5)      Celebrate heroes and advocates. When considering how difficult it is to confront issues like discrimination and racial inequality with children of color, I recalled an episode of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood. In that episode, Fred Rogers talked about when he was a little boy and would see scary things on the news. He stated “My mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” It is so important to teach children about the many good, caring people in our communities who are working for change. A good starting place could be teaching them about civil rights heroes such as Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Frederick Douglass, Ella Baker, John Lewis, Roy Wilkins, James Farmer, Whitney Young, Ralph Abernathy, Ruby Bridges, and so many more. In addition, it is important to discuss and celebrate individuals who are currently leading the way in educating about racism and advocating for better standards for racial equality. Who are you learning from? What community leaders do you see trying to make a difference? Who are people or organizations that are bringing people of all races, backgrounds, economic statuses together? While we still have important work to do in this country, let’s remember the helpers and talk about ways that we can all be a part of the change.

6)      Pray together. Pray as a family for racial equity and reconciliation in your community, city, and nation. We know that the Kingdom of God will include every nation, tribe, people, and language. We can pray together for help in loving our neighbors well, and for God to bring people together in ways that we haven’t seen or experienced before. When you feel led, take the opportunity to lament as a family over instances of racial injustice that occur. Many times, lament comes before healing. Pray that God will bring healing to our brokenness, that He will move and change hearts, that He will raise up godly leaders, that He will reveal to us our own biases, and that we can be a part of the work of reconciliation that is so close to His heart.

In our work with transracial adoptive families, Nightlight has worked to educate families well on issues related to parenting children of color. We are seeking to strengthen our education and thinking through ways that we can better support and equip our families both before and after their adoption. Part of the work we have been doing was to update the list of resources that we recommend for transracial families. There are so many new books and websites available and we have tried to compile a thorough list of helpful materials. We hope you will find some resources that will be a blessing to your family.

–Amy Eudy, Home Study Manager

Reasons to Partner with an Adoption Agency

Success. Some facilitators of infant adoption will continue working with a birth mother, even if they think she will ultimately change her mind about placing her child for adoption.  They operate on wishful thinking and want to collect fees throughout the process.  Non-profit adoption agencies are more interested in the well-being of the child than in collecting fees.  For that reason, we will only match a birth mother with adoptive parents if we believe the birth mother will not change her mind.  In fact, Nightlight is careful enough to prevent shattering the dreams of adoptive parents, that our domestic matches result in adoption 96% of the time.

Wise contracts. Some websites offer couples a place to connect and carry out their own embryo adoptions.  But they often do this without a contract, or with an insufficient contract.  Since Nightlight has helped with embryo adoptions for over a decade, we have crafted contracts that avoid pitfalls, disappointments, and future conflict.

Realistic promises.  Some facilitators make unrealistic promises about the costs, time involved in adoption, and likelihood of placement.  Obviously, they do this in order to win your business.  But non-profit adoption agencies like Nightlight know that this is a bait-and-switch approach.  False promises ultimately hurt the client and the reputation of the agency.  We would rather risk losing a few potential clients than make unrealistic promises.

Thriving families.  Adoption agencies are committed to life-long support and education for families.  They do not simply complete an adoption but give resources to adoptive families and birth mothers, who keep coming back for advice and help in years to come.  In addition, adoption agencies use decades of experience to assist in matching, as well in helping adoptive families make decisions about adoption that will help them thrive.

Convenience.  Adoption agencies are a “one stop” place to complete an adoption.  If you work without an agency, you will still need an agency to complete a home study, and to act as the “adoption service provider” to complete some necessary steps.  But with an adoption agency, you do not need to work with any other party to complete the adoption.

Protect children.  Adoption agencies incur stiff penalties if they do not comply with laws, such as the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC).  These laws protect children from trafficking, and also prevent families from fraud.  Since in most states facilitators are unregulated, they do not have the same level of regulation.

Experience.  Many agencies have been working with adoptive parents for decades, and it is a rather recent utilization of a “loophole” that has allowed other parties to offer adoptive services.  With an agency, you benefit from years of expertise.

Daniel Nehrbass, Ph.D. | President