A growing question among families considering embryo adoption through Snowflakes: Are children born from embryo adoption at risk for adoption-related trauma?
When most people think of “adoption trauma,” they are referring to the emotional and neurological impact that can occur when a child is separated from their birth family—whether at birth or later in childhood. Even when this separation is made out of deep love and concern, such as through foster care or infant adoption, the loss can leave an imprint.
However, what about children who are adopted as embryos? Does this same risk of trauma apply?
Why Embryo Adoption Is Unique
Embryo adoption is different from traditional adoption. Children born through embryo adoption are not separated from their birth mother at birth. Instead, they experience pregnancy and birth with their adoptive mother—the woman who will raise them. Because of this, the typical “separation trauma” associated with traditional adoption is not present in the same way.
That said, it is still important to recognize that trauma is not erased simply because a child entered the world through embryo adoption. A child’s well-being depends largely on how their story is shared and how their parents support them as they grow. The good news is that much of the potential for identity-related challenges can be prevented with openness, preparation, and love.
Education Matters
One of the most powerful ways parents can help their child thrive is by preparing themselves before their adoption journey begins.
At Snowflakes®, we require a home study and provide extensive adoptive parent education. These steps are not just “formalities”—they equip parents with the tools they need to talk openly about adoption, respond to tough questions, and create a safe, affirming environment for their child.
Families who receive embryos through donation-only programs may not have access to this same level of preparation, which can make navigating identity questions more challenging down the road.
The Power of Honesty
Research consistently shows that secrecy around a child’s genetic origins can lead to feelings of confusion, sadness, or even betrayal later in life. In fact, a 2020 survey of donor-conceived adults found that 70% reported distress when they discovered their story later in life.
The opposite is also true: children who grow up always knowing their story tend to process it in healthier, more positive ways.
Snowflakes encourages families to begin sharing their child’s story from the very start. Age-appropriate conversations, begun early and continued often, help children build a secure sense of self and identity.
The Benefits of Openness
Beyond honest conversations at home, most families also choose an open embryo adoption. This allows for varying levels of connection between placing and adopting families.
For children, openness can provide:
- The ability to ask questions directly about their genetic background.
- Opportunities to connect with genetic siblings.
- A stronger and healthier sense of identity.
For parents, openness demonstrates love, trust, and a commitment to prioritizing their child’s long-term well-being. Far from creating confusion, these connections can enrich a child’s life and strengthen their sense of belonging.
Building a Healthy Foundation
While embryo adoption does not carry the same inherent risks of adoption trauma as traditional adoption, it is still important to approach your child’s story thoughtfully. Parents who embrace openness, honesty, and preparation are giving their children an incredible gift: the foundation for a secure and confident identity.
At Snowflakes, our mission is to support families in building that foundation—through education, guidance, and a commitment to openness that always puts the child first.
To learn more about Snowflakes Embryo Adoption, visit Snowflakes.org.
By Paige Zapf