For many people, the holidays are a joyful and festive time of year. But for some, the holidays can be a source of stress, anxiety or depression, a time filled with sadness and difficult conversations, pressure and expectations, and increased responsibilities.
It is human tendency to focus on the negative and overlook the positive, especially during stressful times. The adoption process and parenting can be some of the most stressful times. Gratitude calls our attention to the positives and actually helps rewire our brain to notice them.
Gratitude is the practice of giving thanks and appreciation, acknowledging the goodness in our lives. Gratitude is about focusing on what we have instead of what we lack. Taking time to be grateful in a deliberate way can improve your overall wellbeing, increase your resilience, promote restful sleep, reduce stress & anxiety, enhance empathy & self-esteem, help strengthen relationships, and increase overall happiness.
Thanksgiving is important because it is a designated time to encourage us to pause and be mindful of the blessings we have. However, to demonstrate and celebrate gratitude, you don’t need a particular holiday to show thankfulness. Conveying gratitude should be practiced daily, not just once per year!
"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
- Oprah Winfrey
So how can you focus on having an “attitude of gratitude” this holiday season and every day? Here are some ideas to practice gratitude every day:
- Start a gratitude journal. Set time aside each day to write down positive things that day or what you are thankful for. On days when you are less thankful, or when you need some inspiration, go back and read some of your prior journal entries. Get your kids involved-they can remind us to think about simple things we often forget.
- Reflection/Contemplation: Take a moment each day to think about good things that happened during the day, week, month, or year. Remove yourself from distractions of TV & phone & make this part of your daily self-care routine.
- Pray or Meditate: Praying can help cultivate gratitude and help us focus on things outside of ourselves. Meditating can help us re-establish priorities and remind us what we have to be thankful for.
- Practice Acts of Kindness. The holiday season is a great time to help others who are less fortunate & teach your children empathy. Donating canned goods & toys or simply baking cookies for a neighbor are easy ways to show you care while spending family time together.
- Say thank you. Thank the people in your life for something they did for you this year, no matter how small the deed. Look for reasons to say “thank you”. Tell your family how thankful you are for them and how much you appreciate their love and support. Write a thank you note.
- Relive the good times. Relive positive moments and good memories by thinking about them or sharing them with others. Share fun childhood memories with your children.
- Write to someone. Send a card or write a letter to someone you appreciate or feel thankful for. Perhaps it is a birth mother or someone who helped you get through hard times in your adoption journey. Even if you choose not to send the letter, it is healthy to jot down these positive feelings.
- Volunteer your time. Helping those in need can inspire you to reflect on your own circumstances and bring on a sense of compassion for others.
- Count your blessings. Forget about the material things you do not have or were not able to obtain this year. Instead, appreciate every relationship you have and each positive interaction and act of love you encountered this year.
- Choose inner peace. Choose to live from a place of gratitude. Don’t let anger, disappointment, failure, and frustration become your default emotion. Be thankful for another opportunity to feel more positive emotions, improve your health, relish good experiences, and build strong relationships.
- Take a gratitude walk. Observe things you see around you & take it all in. Be aware of nature, colors, sounds & smells. Enjoy a gratitude walk with your partner or a friend. Show them an appreciation for being able to spend the time walking together.
- Make a list of things you have instead of things you want. This time of year is often focused on receiving gifts. To increase your gratitude, make a list of things you already have. Count your blessings and record how it makes you feel to have these things in your life.
- Focus on your health. Focus on the positive aspects of your health. Take time to be thankful for what your health allows you to do and not how it may be limiting.
Who or what are you grateful for? How are you going to convey this thankfulness?
"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings."
- William Arthur Ward